Elizabeth Smart was kidnapped when she was 14-years-old. She was held captive for nine months by Brian David Mitchell, a man who believed 1) that he was a true prophet of God, and 2) that Elizabeth was to become his (plural) wife. In March of 2003 the police rescued Elizabeth in Sandy, Utah.
On May 1, 2013 Elizabeth Smart addressed a human trafficking forum at Johns Hopkins University. She spoke of the sexual abuse she endured during her captivity and how it made her feel. Elizabeth addressed something she has been asked repeatedly during the ten years since her rescue: “Why didn’t you run away? Why didn’t you yell? Why didn’t you scream?” Her answer was two-fold.
First Elizabeth spoke of fear stemming from threats made against her life and against the safety of her family. So in an effort to protect her family and herself, she said, “I always did what my captors told me to do.”
Then Elizabeth explained that what kept her from running or screaming “goes even beyond fear.” Though she wanted to be rescued and reunited with her family, as a young Mormon girl she believed that the sexual abuse she had suffered had made her “worthless.”
During her address, Elizabeth spoke of her upbringing in “a very religious household” in which she was taught that sex was to be reserved for marriage. She had every intention of maintaining her chastity until her wedding day, but Brian David Mitchell took that away from her. After the first rape, she explained, “I felt crushed. Who could want me now? I felt so dirty and so filthy.” She felt “devalued” and reluctant to try to reenter her old life. “Can you imagine turning around and going back into society where you are no longer of value, where you are no longer as good as everyone else?” she asked her audience.
Elizabeth related a lesson on abstinence that she had been taught as a girl. In this lesson the teacher likened a young woman to a piece of gum; after sex outside of marriage it was as if the gum had been chewed; and after being chewed and passed around, the gum (i.e., the young woman) became worthless. This lesson stuck with Elizabeth, and after being raped by Mitchell, she questioned if it would even be worth being rescued since she was now a chewed-up piece of gum worthy only of being thrown away. So Elizabeth did not run or scream for help.
Because of Elizabeth Smart’s courageous remarks earlier this month, Mormon women are talking about this and sharing their own experiences. While Elizabeth said her chewing-gum lesson was taught in school, other Mormon women describe lessons they have been taught in LDS meetings where similar analogies were presented including mashed Twinkies, half-eaten candy bars and man-handled roses. A woman named Cindy wrote,
“I remember my beehive teacher bringing in a beautiful red jello in a clear crystal bowl–and then dumping the contents of a vacuum cleaner bag on it. It was awful–such a visual contrast. But even then I knew that there was something wrong with the analogy–and later I realized that her analogy made no provision for repentance.”
Indeed. Elizabeth Smart, a victim of her captor, did not need to repent of engaging in pre-marital sex with Brian David Mitchell. But setting that aside, she still didn’t know that her life could be redeemed. Where would she get the idea that her situation was so hopeless?
Elizabeth was reared in a time when the official teachings of the Mormon Church were more tempered than in earlier years. But those who raised her, and those who taught her, learned their lessons in a harsher environment. Just 6 years before Elizabeth was born, an article appeared in the Ensign magazine as a First Presidency Message. It said in part,
“You will recall Alma’s teaching his son Corianton that unchastity is the most serious offense there is in the sight of God, save murder or denying the Holy Ghost… Some years ago the First Presidency said to the youth of the Church that a person would be better dead clean than alive unclean… I remember how my father impressed the seriousness of unchastity upon my mind. He and I were standing in the railroad station at Rexburg, Idaho, in the early morning of 12 November 1920… ‘remember this, my son: we would rather come to this station and take your body off the train in a casket than to have you come home unclean, having lost your virtue.’ …President Clark, in a conference address in October 1938, said: … ‘Please believe me when I say that chastity is worth more than life itself. This is the doctrine my parents taught me; it is truth. Better die chaste than live unchaste. The salvation of your very souls is concerned in this.’” (Marion G. Romney, “We Believe in Being Chaste,” Ensign, September 1981).
Consider some of the other statements made by Mormon Prophets and Apostles that have helped form today’s Mormon culture in Utah:
“Also far-reaching is the effect of loss of chastity. Once given or taken or stolen it can never be regained. Even in a forced contact such as rape or incest, the injured one is greatly outraged. If she has not cooperated and contributed to the foul deed, she is of course in a more favorable position. There is no condemnation where there is no voluntary participation. It is better to die in defending one’s virtue than to live having lost it without a struggle” (Spencer W. Kimball, The Miracle of Forgiveness, 196).
“Loss of virtue is too great a price to pay even for the preservation of one’s life — better dead clean, than alive unclean. Many is the faithful the Latter-day Saint parent who has sent a son or a daughter on a mission or otherwise out into the world with the direction: ‘I would rather have you come back in a pine box with your virtue than return alive without it.'” (Bruce R. McConkie, Mormon Doctrine, 124.)
“…There is no true Latter-day Saint who would not rather bury a son or daughter than to have him or her lose his or her chastity — realizing that chastity is of more value than anything else in all the world.” (Heber J. Grant, Gospel Standards, 55)
No wonder Elizabeth Smart believed there was no hope for her, no reason to be rescued and released from the horrible captivity and abuse she suffered. If she understood that she was better off dead than sexually impure, that her parents would rather bury her than have her back in her unclean state (as she saw herself), there was no reason for her to think she could ever find peace or forgiveness in this life.
The Mormon Church does teach that one can repent from sexual sin, and that those who are forced into sexual relations are not guilty of sexual sin, but Elizabeth Smart didn’t get that message. Instead, she got the harsh and graceless message that one’s worthiness and eternal hope is anchored in one’s ability to perfectly obey the rules as set forth by the Mormon Church.
This is one of the tragedies of Mormonism: False prophets teaching harmfully false ideas under the guise of speaking for God. Elizabeth Smart was a victim of more than just the abuses of Brian David Mitchell.
My friends, there is no circumstance in which a person’s sin or life situation is beyond the reach and redemption of Jesus. “For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die—
but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.” (Romans 5:6-11)
I was so hoping you guys would blog on this topic.
I hope everyone here realizes how enormous of an issue this is.
When I heard Elizabeth speak on this my heart was broken, really it was.
How many young LDS girls are raped, molested, or sexually abused but are too afraid to talk about it?
My BF in Utah was teaching a lesson to her young women about modesty and chastity and told me that “sexual sin is as bad as murder because you could get pregnant and bring a spirit child into this world before they are ready”.
This same friend struggled with unspeakable shame and feelings of unworthiness because she was raped by her step father for most of her childhood.
While trying to cope with that early life trauma she was instructed to read the MOF.. The church did what they are so good at doing, they laid on the guilt. Heavy. Opening a wound that took years to start to heal with a book that suggested sexual sin is somehow less forgivable and places responsibility on the victim.
One of the greatest weapons used by sexual predators is to shame their victim into not talking and devaluing them to keep them in check. Coincidentally or maybe not, I think Satan uses this same trap to keep us (humans) from receiving the gift of salvation.
This is such a contrast from what Christ promises us.
Through him we are new creations, worthy of love regardless of our past.
How dare the LDS church try to take that away.
Oh yes, the half eaten cookie lesson in young women’s. Our leader brought a plate of cookies with just enough for the number of girls in the class, only one cookie was half eaten. The plate was passed around and no one took the “used” cookie. In seminary they would teach that it would be better for us girls to be killed than raped. I have a hard time believing the gum story happened at school unless it was in seminary. What this poor girl went through is horrible. I remember when they found her and the News started posting pictures. She was at a party with her captors and was wearing a white veil. Everyone couldn’t believe that she just didn’t pull down the veil and show everyone who she was. This explains a lot. How horrible for a 14 year old little girl to go through that. Kind of like the 14 year old little girls who had to experience something similar with Joseph Smith huh? Mormons will say that is different but is it? Maybe they weren’t kidnapped by him physically but what about spiritually? It would be hard to be the reason Joseph Smith was killed by an angel with a sword, and what about the guarantee that you and your family would get to the celestial kingdom if you only did this one little thing for Joseph Smith? These girls were also used.
This is an interesting topic given what happened in Cleveland. I am sure the feelings of guilt and worthlessness are not limited to LDS women. (Frankly, I think all women, endowed with a conscience of their own, feel this way in any situation, but the situation can be very different.) Christian churches don’t lay on the death imagery from premarital or extramarital sex, but they do strongly feel it is wrong.
And it is wrong. But the message of salvation seems much more open in Christianity. It is full, it is simple to receive. It is beautiful, and it is powerful.
Let me go at this from a little different angle. How many young adult Mormon men and women are sexual libertarians in defiance of what they have been taught? I personally know of a young returning MM who told me, when I asked why he wasn’t married yet said, “All these Mormon girls want is to get into my pants.” Sorry for being so graphic but the way he told me this made it clear that it wasn’t the exception. He was dedicated to living the WOW and maintain his chastity. He finally did marry a Mormon girl but quite frankly she appeared to me to be a member of the FLDS. Again, this young man was/is a dedicated Mormon so he falls somewhere else on the continuum then these Mormon girls who were chasing him.
I’ve read and heard that the pornographic website visits (number) are high out in Utah. We know of the ugly things that go on with girls in the FLDS.
It’s all really messed up when it comes to sex with Mormonism. Are the boys asked when interviewed by the bishop if they masturbate? The guilt and shame that are hoisted upon these young men is intense.
falcon,
I believe teens here in Utah are just as sexually active as anywhere else. I know when I was in High School it didn’t matter if a girl’s dad was the bishop or stake president, they weren’t anymore chaste than inactive girls. I do think there is more guilt put on Utah teens. Not only that but a lot of teens confess this stuff to their bishops and then go through a probationary period until it is felt by the bishop that they have repented and can be back in good standing with the church.
Girls are asked the same questions in bishop interviews as the boys are. We discussed this here a few posts ago. I personally think this is abuse.
Channel 4 News here in Utah has been doing a series on Utah women this past week. One of the segments was on pornography and how Utah has the highest rate of pornography viewing in the country and the day the pornography is most viewed is on Sunday. This series has been quite enlightening. I will post a link to the information.
http://www.abc4.com/content/news/perfectproblem/default.aspx
Thank you for sharing that story from ABC4 Kate,
That story is so heartbreaking.
I really don’t miss Utah but my heart breaks for it’s people, and for all LDS people.
I do not know a single LDS person who doesn’t obsess over perfection and appearances, it cannot be healthy.
Interesting that the church did not comment, I wonder what they could possibly say anyway?
“We tell our people to do all they do and create an atmosphere where value is based on what you do, how you look, and how “righteous” you are, but the high depression in Utah has nothing to do with it?”
Oh that’s right, it’s not “doctrinal”.
Let us put a little perspective on this, shall we.
Elizabeth Smart is still a member of the LDS church. After this experience she served a mission in France, and later married and was sealed in the Temple in Hawaii.
So, to make it clear, she is not speaking out against the church or its doctrine. She is saying that the method of teaching is not appropriate, and I think she is right.
It seems like the point of this post isn’t to show that things like this shake someones faith in the LDS church but to point out that it’s a lesson that seems to be quite common in LDS church teachings and is sadly in line with their doctrine. It is not only sad and unfair but completely unbiblical. Which is the whole point of Mormon Coffee, to expose unbiblical teachings since the Bible is called to be the standard by which we identify true teachings from false. Acts 17:11 Now the Berean Jews were of more noble character than those in Thessalonica, for they received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true.
Heavens forbid that the conclusion is “therefore the LDS church is NOT true”. This reminds me of the stack of information that piles-up regarding the “falseness” of Mormonism and Mormons will say, “Well all that may be true but that doesn’t mean that the (LDS) church is false.” Give me a break!
Mormonism isn’t going to garner but a small percentage of the population of potential people who will join a church. The reason is not only it’s history and doctrine but also the culture; especially in Utah. Couple this with the modern culture where sexual barriers are nearly nonexistent, and Mormons will succumb to temptation. It’s the kinky, weird and sexual suppression along with guilt and shame in the LDS church that causes people to be attracted to pornography.
I was going to provide a link to a video of a young former Mormon couple who relate their experience within the LDS church. The woman specifically talked about being a 13 year old girl and having her interview, alone, with the bishop. He of course queried her about masturbation. She relates her feelings about herself as a result of this experience. Her husband talked about getting hooked on porn as a kid. When he talked to a BYU prof. regarding his “problem” the professor said that he estimated that half of the young men in the Elders quorum had the same problem.
The reason I’m not posting the link is because it caused me to “wince” a few times. But it was about as frank and revealing as it gets.
Kate,
That’s quite a series. It’s going to take me a while to work my way through it. I thought that the topics related to “perfection” were quite telling.
Isn’t one of the Mormon mottos that “the church” is “perfect”, but the people aren’t.” Well DUH! But that doesn’t stop the striving for perfection. Isn’t that what becoming a god is all about. And what do we get? The highest incidence of porn downloads of any state is in Utah. In the words of Dr. Phill, “How’s that working for you?” Obviously it’s not. Perhaps the LDS sect based out of Utah isn’t quite as perfect as it claims. It’s an authoritarian system. One of the main features of these systems is that everything has to look perfect on the outside.
Jesus Christ fixes people on the inside. It’s through Him that we are granted eternal life through God’s grace by faith. Understanding what a spiritual walk looks like is key to peace with God and peace with ourselves.
I thought it was pretty brave of Elizabeth Smart to come forward with this information. That’s a crack in the wall as far as I’m concerned. This is God’s church, right? It’s perfect, right. And yet the system, what and how it teaches, is terribly flawed. So are the attitudes that this perfect system produces.
You’d think that going to the temple and continuously doing these religious rituals would make the participants perfect too. But, alas, it doesn’t help. This religion is peopled by miserable sinners who appear to have a real addiction to pornography, for example. How in the world are they ever going to become gods and live in the highest level of the CK?
The manipulation of this story and the hypocrisy is absolutely sick. I am embarrassed for the critics who have twisted this story in an effort to make the church look bad.
First of all, Elizabeth Smart did not place blame on the church. She didn’t refer to any specific lessons she had in church. The gum story was from a school sex ed course. But you guys have completely twisted this to make it look like the chewed gum analogy came from church. And it doesn’t matter if that analogy has ever been used in church in other places. That is not what occurred in this story. But that doesn’t seem to matter to the critics here.
Second, do you guys know anything about the psychological mindset that occurs in almost all girls who suffer this type of trauma? Feeling worthless, dirty, and guilty are absolutely classic in these situations, whether the girl comes from a religious home or not. It is a terrible experience, and the girls almost always blame themselves and make great efforts to avoid getting help or revealing the truth.
Third, this chewing gum analogy is a classic abstinence training story. Others used in these abstinence courses include the rose pedal, the candy in the bag, the pepperment patty, the spitting in the cup routine. These are all classic abstinence course analogies and teaching “tools.” They all convey the concept that having sex before marriage makes a person “used,” of less worth, or undesirable.
It is utterly hypocritical for evangelical critics of the church to level this type of criticism considering the fact that evangelical Christians have been proponents of abstinence training for over 30 years. Now you want to change your tune because you think it gives you an opportunity to smear the church.
And last of all, it really comes off as though you guys think it is wrong to teach kids to save themselves for their future spouse. Talk about changing your tune to suite the needs of the time or your desire to spin a story about a member of the church. So are you guys now arguing that we should not teach kids to obey the law of chastity or the consequences of such sin?
This is so gross.
FoF, the criticism comes not from LDS teaching abstinence. I think we all would agree that is a good thing. The criticism comes from the gross overstatement of the consequences by the LDS to state it is better to die than to be unchaste. The criticism comes from undercutting the full and complete saving power of our Lord Jesus Christ.
This is why Sharon ended her post with this: “My friends, there is no circumstance in which a person’s sin or life situation is beyond the reach and redemption of Jesus.”
FOF,
The church is claimed by its members to be perfect. It is not.
Are you telling us that having a bishop in a room alone with adolescent boys and girls and questioning them about masturbation is healthy and will keep them chaste?
There is a significant problem with members in the LDS church with pornography.
It’s obvious that the teaching techniques used by the LDS church when it comes to promoting chastity is not working real well.
I think you’d have a difficult time finding anyone on this blog who doesn’t support abstinence. That’s not the point. The point is that Elizabeth Smart was pre-conditioned by the LDS church to be the perfect victim.
Not so coincidentally, Joseph Smith was a sexual predator of the first order who used his position as a church leader to seduce young girls and women for his own (sexual) pleasure.
MJP,
I don’t think the church has anything to apologize for in teaching the importance of standing one’s ground in the law of chastity. Are there things worth dying for? Yes. Do you claim otherwise. I do not suggest that Smart should have died trying to protect herself in this story. But the use of quotations to the effect that it is better to die than to engage in sexual immorality certainly is an attempt to portray the church as mean and cold.
Smart was not resonsible for what happened in any way. And she was not morally unclean in any way. I find it hard to believe that there is any bishop or stake president who would claim otherwise.
This is a manipulative spin on this tragic story intended to make the church look bad. Sharon’s implication that the church somehow “undercut” the idea that “there is no circumstance in which a person’s sins or life situation is beyond the reach of the redemption of Jesus” is unfounded and hypocritical. It is such a gross spinning of the story. What did the church do in this case to “undercut” the redemption of Jesus? Teach chastity? You have absolutely no direct evidence that the church taught chastity any differently than you or anybody here would teach such a principle. You have absolutely no evidence that the church “overstated the consequences” of immorality in its presentation of chastity to Elizabeth Smart. She was not even unchaste at any point. But the critic will always start the machine rolling in searching the quotation database from church leaders to aid the smearing of the church.
falcon,
You have no idea what you are talking about. Why don’t you look into the psychology of sexaul assault victims and get back to us and let us know how they typically respond. There is absolutely no basis on which to claim that “Elizabeth Smart was pre-conditioned by the LDS church to be the perfect victim.”
You guys are so extreme in your bias and anxiousness to critize the church that you have next to no ability to judge reasonably or empathize in these situations.
Applying your logic, any problem with pornography in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is somehow responsible for the trauma to Elizabeth Smart? Why in the world would you imply such a thing? How crazy.
I really think you guys are unable to see clearly when it comes to anything whatsoever that has anything to do with the church.
FoF, I am not at all surprised you take the position you take. Personally, I think the use of Elizabeth Smart on this topic is loaded. She has an absolutely tragic story. There is little redeeming from her ordeal. And the girls just rescued in Cleveland I am sure faced similar circumstances that Ms. Smart faced. That is not isolated to girls from the LDS. Women all over are threatened and abused in ways men can never fully dream of.
However, I do not see the LDS message on forgiveness as being as full as (the real) Christ says it should be. My understanding of the LDS faith is that, yes, (your) Christ forgives you, but (your) Christ seems to require extra steps to show full repentance. Correct me if I am wrong, but (Ms. Smart, sexual abuse and kidnapping aside), in Mormon faith, a simple prayer to Christ asking full forgiveness is not enough to warrant full forgiveness. And also, (again, correct if wrong) there are some sins that just cannot be forgiven in Mormonism.
The quote about no LDS parent who would first bury their children before seeing their children unchaste is a strong statement, wouldn’t you think? Surely, it can’t be literal. But if not literal, why use such dire language to simply state that chastity is of the utmost importance? What is the focus? What is the result? What pressure is put on the children when they are told, from a leader and their parents that quite seriously their parents would prefer them to die before they lose chastity?
When the opportunity came for escape for the three women held captive in Cleveland Ohio, only one, Amanda Berry, was willing to make the escape. The other two did not try to leave. The other two did not make a move until the police were physically in the house. They were too scared to leave with Amanda Berry. That speaks volumes of what psychological trauma was done and about the psychological hold their captor had over them. It has nothing to do with a lesson on chastity from a church.
“The Miracle of Forgiveness” was written in the early 1970’s when a lot was happening with women’s lib, sexual freedom left over from the 1960’s, and other major changes in society. The leaders at that time came from a different time period while they were growing up. The church leaders are not perfect and make mistakes. We all do. My mother was raised Southern Baptist and was scared to death all the time because every Sunday the Preacher told the congregation they were all going to “h – e double hockey sticks”. She tried constantly to do good all the time so that, hopefully, God would see it and rescue her from the Devil. She worried constantly about this. This went on into her adult life. So other religions leave something to be desired in their teachings, (and how they teach) not just the LDS.
There are other factors to consider when looking at the online “adult entertainment” use in Utah. Utah has strict laws regulating the sale and display of porn. It is difficult to buy porn, go to adult shows, rent porn movies in Utah. So that makes online use more convenient, plus some things are free online. The study left out a lot of controls, and it was done using only one porn company. Mississippi (Bible Belt) follows Utah (according to the same study mentioned in the link provided by Kate) in online porn use. The study also used zip codes and it found that the zip codes that had the most subscribers had the least amount of LDS living in those areas. Studies can be useful, but they are not perfect. ( Idaho follows Utah in having a high LDS population and it ranked last in online porn use in the study mentioned. )
“Elizabeth related a lesson on abstinence that she had been taught as a girl. In this lesson the teacher likened a young woman to a piece of gum; after sex outside of marriage it was as if the gum had been chewed; and after being chewed and passed around, the gum (i.e., the young woman) became worthless. This lesson stuck with Elizabeth, and after being raped by Mitchell, she questioned if it would even be worth being rescued since she was now a chewed-up piece of gum worthy only of being thrown away. So Elizabeth did not run or scream for help.”
Did you read this? This is one of two reasons Elizabeth Smart gives for not trying to get away. We are taught this lesson in young women’s, whether it is gum, candy, or a cookie it’s the same message pounded into LDS girl’s heads. Put that together with the lesson taught to us in seminary that it would be better for us girls to be killed than raped. Why is the punishment put on the girl who was raped? She did nothing wrong and I highly doubt Jesus would need to forgive her for it. Your church is big on this topic and it borderlines on abuse in my mind. Leave my kids alone. They should ( and did) learn sex ed from me and my husband. It’s none of the church’s business. After the second bishop interview with my oldest son is when I found out the outrageously inappropriate sexual questions that he had been asked. I was furious! My son never went to another one and I didn’t allow my younger son to go at all. The LDS church is very much in it’s member’s business and sex lives. Even the adults. That is what is sick and gross. Too bad if Mormons don’t like quotes about this or any other issue to be brought up. People need to know what they are getting themselves into.
“The Miracle of Forgiveness” was written in the early 1970′s when a lot was happening with women’s lib, sexual freedom left over from the 1960′s, and other major changes in society. The leaders at that time came from a different time period while they were growing up. The church leaders are not perfect and make mistakes. We all do.”
Yes but “we all” don’t claim to be prophets of God and his mouthpiece either. If you liken your leaders to “we all” then why do you need a prophet to begin with? If he can’t get it anymore right than the rest of us why bother with him at all?
Silkworm
“The study also used zip codes and it found that the zip codes that had the most subscribers had the least amount of LDS living in those areas.
Of course, it’s all the NON Mormons who are subscribing and looking LOL! What does it matter? Utah has the highest rate of online pornography subscriptions. What about those who just look and don’t subscribe? Utah ranks #1 in porn subscriptions, plastic surgeries, depression and anti depression medication use, bankruptcies and suicides. There is a culture here and the LDS church and religion are a huge factor in this culture. No getting around that, sorry.
This is another example of an object lesson for sin used at an LDS Church in Utah. Everytime a sin was mentioned they put a nail through a piece of cardboard. They did this several times. At the end, the cardboard was turned over. On the other side was a picture of Christ, completely punctured with nails. Interesting object lesson.
Faithoffathers, I’ll comment to you , then I’ll comment on what I see in Sharon’s article .
Concerning what you said in your last paragraph on 5-14 @ 3:13pm : This statement of yours
is what I would call “gross” ; and “ridiculous” would also fit .
Concerning Sharon’s article : I’m sure all of us here have heard or read about the mental anguish
that a girl can have after being raped —-thoughts of worthlessness , guilt, dirty, etc.
These are more than anyone one should experience . If Elizebeth had heard from her parents
or read of what some of her leaders stated about loss of chastity ( from the quotes Sharon cited)
then this could even add to her mental torment , that’s something she did’nt need . Young people
are emotionally fragile and these statements could easily drown out the the truth about how
God can heal the hurting , etc. It seems this happened to Elizabeth .
Now concerning what Mormon authorities have stated about loss of virginity . Do I understand
what these men have said to mean that if a young man , for instance, goes off on his mission
and ends up losing his virginity that his parents would have him come home in a pine box rather
than alive and with his ” loss of virtue “? That , ” chastity is worth more than life itself ” ?
This is what Mormon young people are being told ? If so — ouch .
FOF
“Elizabeth Smart was pre-conditioned by the LDS church to be the perfect victim.”
Actually, This was the point of most of her talk. One of the reasons she didn’t run was because she was brought up to believe that she would be less valuable if she was not a virgin. She attributes this to her religion coupled with the abstinence only she was taught in school (Which is a reflection of the LDS influence on UT schools and politics). Most of us on this blog have strong ties to Mormonism, we love Mormons and we want whats best for them. We see things about the church that damage people’s lives and we want to shed light upon them.
Utah has some serious problems and the interesting thing, most Mormons would agree hands down. They just refuse to see the source of the problems. Once you are free from mormonism and are comfortable enough to question what it teaches, the source of the problem becomes clear. It is the church itself.
My mother in law and I watched the “problem with perfection” video and had a long discussion about the church and Utah. She is devoutly LDS. She is also an elementary school councilor and understands sexual abuse better than most people.
She agrees that the church creates an atmosphere ripe for sexual abuse as well as an array of mental health issues because it does apply a large amount of pressure to be perfect and creates an atmosphere that makes it difficult to talk about problems.
Many young girls of many religions are that way, you are correct. But the LDS church goes a step further. They teach that sexual sin is one of the worst types of sin, they do not make clear distinctions between sexuality and sexual abuse. They put it under the same umbrella. They also make it seem as though sexual abuse is less forgivable. Christianity teaches that sin is sin. It also teaches that all sin is cleansed by the blood of christ. Period.
So whether you are a prostitute, a murderer, or an innocent victim, Jesus is there for you. Jesus will pick you up and make you into a new creation. You will always have value to him and nothing can change that. Even if to the world you are a hopeless case. Jesus’s blood has paved a way for us all to come to God. The LDS try to put up barriers along the way, they put in requirements and caveats, they drown out the voice of the holy spirit with business. The LDS try to earn righteousness in their own strength by the standards of a false church and when they can’t do it (which nobody can), they fall, hard.
Silkworm,
Have you ever read the Miracle Of Forgiveness? It is horrifying and robs us of the saving grace freely given in Christ. It strongly implies that the fault of the rape lies upon the victim.
Don’t tell me your prophets made a mistake about this. This horrible book is spread around the church like a disease. My friend was raped by her step dad from the time she was 5 until she was 15 and ran away. Her bishop told her to read the MOF to help her cope with the trauma. It totally messed her up, in ways unimaginable. She feels guilty for being mad at her step dad, guilty because she didn’t fight him harder, and dirty because she lost her virginity at 5. This stuff is real and it really mess up people’s lives and their ability to come to Jesus and experience true healing. If your prophet made a mistake, why is he still considered a prophet and why does the church still use the book and why isn’t there a public discussion about the false teachings found within it?
The LDS church has a problem with accountability.
If the LDS church would just publicly repent and turn itself towards Jesus, maybe blogs like this would no longer need to exist. Until they do, we will continue to speak out against the LDS church.
Personally, I love way to many Mormons to see them manipulated by this “church”.
I am so tired of watching my LDS friends and families work so hard to paint this picture of perfection.
I am tried of seeing them agonize over their weight, their looks, their personal achievements, and their familiar achievements. I’m tired of seeing them trying to understand their worth based on what they do and how they look.
This problem is not exclusively LDS but it certainly is a problem with the Church and the Church refuses to acknowledge it.
FOF,
I think the other posters have well answered and amplified what I said about the pre-conditioning of ES. It also has to do with male dominance, patriarchal hierarchy, religious-figure dominance and this Mormon culture where the women are (conditioned) to be submissive in an unhealthy way.
ES abuser was a “prophet”. He took advantage of her, to say the least, and because of her conditioning within Mormonism, she became damaged goods (in her eyes). She had been taught to be compliant and in this situation, it was all amplified. I would say amplified even more so than women/young girls who haven’t been subjected to the type of conditioning ES was, and are kidnapped, imprisoned and sexually/emotionally abused.
Joseph Smith used many of the same tricks of the trade that these other guys use. He was even more cunning in emotionally imprisoning them for his own pleasure and sick need for power and control.
Okay, I have to say a few things here.
FoF is right. The conflating of this story and everyone’s unfounded accusations of pre-conditioning is just plain distasteful. You speak as if Elizabeth Smart herself was speaking out against the church and railing against the doctrine taught.
First, as I pointed out, she is still a faithful member, who served a mission and has been sealed in the Temple, all after this experience. To use her words in the way you are shows complete lack of respect for her and a lack of understanding in her intentions. I have no doubt that if she knew what has been claimed here that she would be very vocal in telling all of you to shut up.
Brewed
I have read the Miracle of Forgiveness. Actually my father and I read it when I was a teenager and going through a difficult time. I don’t remember much, but I do remember that it did bring comfort to me and assured me of the forgiveness of God. I have been planning on reading it again, but have been too busy recently.
“they do not make clear distinctions between sexuality and sexual abuse. They put it under the same umbrella. They also make it seem as though sexual abuse is less forgivable.”
The problem here is that there is a clear distinction in the doctrine. I agree that it is obscured through the methods of teaching, and this is the problem that Elizabeth Smart was addressing. To imply anything else from her words is grossly misrepresenting her.
Kate
“Of course, it’s all the NON Mormons who are subscribing and looking LOL! What does it matter? Utah has the highest rate of online pornography subscriptions. ”
Of course having your sources shown to be less reliable doesn’t matter to you. All that matters is that can be used to support your bias, and so you will waive away anything that might possibly contradict you, like context and method of study.
I suppose the fact that the Bible Belt (especially Missouri) has more porn stores per capita than any other area of the United States would be meaningless as well. After all, it does matter that the rest of Christianity is getting their porn through hard copy. All that matters is that you can claim the LDS get it online.
Falcon,
I was thinking about this preconditioning of Elizabeth Smart and we need to acknowledge that her kidnapper was also raised LDS. He had some peconditioning as well. Granted he went off the deep end with his revelations but then so did other LDS prophets. Brian David Mitchell is a product of Mormonism. I can’t help but think his revelation to take plural wives was directly related to early Mormon prophets including Joseph Smith. He was excommunicated from the LDS church, I think the same month he kidnapped Elizabeth.
Shem, I think ultimately the point is that at best, LDS are no better than any other group when it comes to porn. My father, who ran a factory about 2-3 hours outside of SLC fired numerous LDS members and leaders for looking at porn while at work.
I don’t know how many non Mormons he dealt with concerning the same problem, but its largely irrelevant. The LDS are at best no better than the rest of us.
Shem,
As usual you missed the whole point. I pointed out and linked to a study that our channel 4 news did here last week. People here in Utah are being made aware of the problems that plague our State. The study was shown to us by that news channel. I didn’t use that study, the News station did. I also never said people in other States don’t use or buy porn. Other States are not the issue here. The issues of Utah were the focus of our News station. Get it right. We have perfectionism problems, problems with depression and problems with pornography. In a State where the majority of residents belong to the LDS religion. For active members, the church very much runs their lives, along with members, especially women, comparing themselves to and competing with each other to look like the perfect Mormon woman, wife, mother and family. You don’t live here and you don’t know the culture here.
The News station that did this series is absolutely right in bringing to light the problems we face as a State. They contacted the LDS church for comment but of course the church blew them off.
Shem,
To expound on what Kate said too.
There are more then double the number of women diagnosed with anorexia in Utah. It is the plastic surgery capital of the USA. And has the highest level of depression in the US as well, 20% higher in women I believe.
Porn is the tip of the iceberg in my opinion. There are so many symptoms in Utah of a much deeper problem. Most Utahns will admit their state has a problem with perfectionism.
Interesting that the story noted sunday as the biggest day for suicide in Utah.
The point of this blog post is that there is so much emphasis on “being worthy” that people begin to lose their sense of value if they feel that they have fallen short. There is so much fear of being “less then” and so much fear of not being excepted that people in Utah go to extraordinary lengths to keep up appearances. This includes silencing sexual abuse, ignoring porn addictions (and drug addictions), and silently suffering through mental illness.
Have you ever lived in Utah?
I have never known so many people who suffer so much in silence. Who are so self conscious and judgmental. Who go to such extensive lengths to look pretty. Surgery, starvation, excessive tanning, hairspray, makeup… It is out of control. And with Pintrest and Facebook it seems to have gotten worse.
I went to a Relief Society meeting and they talked about no joke, what they do perfectly and what they need to improve. These women were purposely comparing themselves. Their value was based on what they did well, not on the fact that they are a precious creation of God.
I was thinking about lessons girls are taught and the story of Bethany Hamilton came to mind. Bethany is a Christian girl who grew up in Hawaii and is a remarkable young woman and surfer. You may have seen the movie Soul Surfer which is about her life. In the movie after the shark attack she is talking to her dad and she asks him how she is going to get through what happened to her, her dad never missed a beat and cited Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Imagine how different Elizabeth Smart’s story would be if she would have been taught this truth. If she would have been taught that her soul was so precious and full of worth that our Savior gave his blood for it and there is no sin or situation that He can’t fix.
The reason our Mormon posters have so much trouble “owning” this is because they’re part of it. To them it’s normal. It’s also a way of circling the wagons around the “perfect” church. This is the system that’s suppose to make them gods. Horrors, what if it’s not true, this restored gospel.
When cracks start to appear and there are many, it’s just too much to patch. It’s the little boy with his finger in the dike with water spraying all over.
It’s typical when people are in the denial stage that there are just too many balls to keep in the air. Eventually they start dropping the balls. They just can’t juggle it all any more.
The good news is that Jesus is real and so is the gospel that’s been preached for the last 2,000 year.
As my other post is being moderated, I will just make the comment that it really seems that there is no negative information or story about the church that is not accepted and supported by its critics.
Anybody can produce any story claiming anything about the church. And if it is negative, it will be embraced by the church’s critics.
And I think that is a very sad thing about the “Christian community” to which the critics claim to belong.
FOF,
Well I see you are switching tactics here and playing the “persecution” card. What we can expect next is “I bear my testimony” I suppose.
You my friend, need to get your head out of the sand regarding the LDS church and the culture it has produced. Is there no “negative” story you won’t deny?
The church is perfect right? Mormons are more in love with their precious “church” than they are with God. I can see why because the Mormon god isn’t much better than the average Mormon. He’s just a sinner who worked hard at the system and became a god.
So if the system is said to be flawed, what’s a poor Mormon to do.
BTW, we don’t seem to hear these stories about other Mormon sects like the CofC or Temple Lot. It’s always the FLDS and SLC bunch.
FoF, I am not sure you even understand what the criticism is.
MJP,
Yes. I understand the criticism. But your conclusions seem to be based on prejudice and bias. There is nothing about this case, specifically, which should lead anybody to conclude that the church made Elizabeth Smart any more susceptible to rape than any other girl. Look at a million other cases which are essentially the same- why do you come to different conclusions about this case when the mindset of the victim is so consistent throughout these cases of abuse and rape?
Why do you not criticize the religion of the three girls in Ohio who were abducted and serially raped? Was that even a thought in your mind? Probably not. But if the victim is LDS, there is the prejudice that leads you to automatically ask certain questions and make certain conclusions.
You guys are ignoring the fact that Elizabeth Smart said she grew up in a “strict” religious home. You read into that some degree of “conditioning” or abusing “indoctrination” that somehow led to her victimization. And there is simply no justification for that. If anything, Smart stated that it was the unconditional love of the parents of that home that helped her cling to hope. She knew without doubt that her mom and dad would accept her back unconditionally. Yet those same parents are the ones who created that “strict” religious home in which Smart was raised. Your bias leads to you focus on the possible negative influence of the religion of that home without considering the saving and loving influence of that same religion.
What is not apparent to me is whether you critics know much about the psychology of the rape victim. Smarts response was a classic example of such psychology. There is an enormously profound and common instinct in these victims to keep quiet, to feel guilty and dirty and unworthy. It is very common for girls in these situations to feel for some reason that they deserved the trauma. When approached by those around these girls, they will very often insist that nobody know about the abuse, that it is kept quiet. It is ultra-acquiescence and it is shocking to those who have witnessed it.
Kate- you refer to Surfer Girl, the movie, and claim that Elizabeth Smart’s case would have been better had her parents been better. What an unjustified criticism. What a terrible thing to say. And have you considered the ridiculousness of such an argument? Look at Elizabeth Smart’s life since she was rescued. Her’s is a very remarkable case. She has recovered and healed in amazing fashion. She has served a mission for the church and is happily married in the temple. Her life is now one of helping and serving other people. She says the help and counsel she received from her parents was perfect and has helped her move on and heal through the atonement.
Why do you feel justified in making such claims and criticisms?
The problem with this case and the response from the church’s critics is that they completely ignore this reality and project very negative things about the church into this story that are not warranted.
If Elizabeth Smart “knew” that she would be accepted back into her family and community “unconditionally”, then why is she saying that she felt like a piece of chewed gum, an analogy that led one Mormon blogger to say,
Why is it taught in Mormon scripture (which this blogger also cites) that those that rape innocent victims have then “taken away their chastity and virtue”? Here is Moroni 9:9, Read it for yourself:
The question becomes, How does a rapist have the power to take away a victim’s virtue? As the Mormon blogger states,
It seems that we are not the only ones who see a problem here.
FoF, I’ll repeat, you don’t get the criticism. Forget about Elizabeth Smart for a second. I know others continue to use her to demonstrate the criticism, but the criticism is beyond one young girl. The criticism is the over stated penalties for committing the sin of fornication. The criticism is that LDS, based on these over stated penalties, don’t have the same idea as we do concerning Christ’s forgiveness. The criticism is that the LDS lead its children into mental and emotional states that are unhealthy.
You are right to suggest that other faiths may do something similar, but I would argue that the difference in the other faiths and yours is that in theirs, there is no desire that it is better for the child to die than to commit sin X. Think about that. You are telling children you would prefer it if they died as compared to if they become unchaste. Explain that. That is the issue. It is not Elizabeth Smart.
Grindael,
Elizabeth Smart attributes the chewed-gum story to a school teacher.
Are you really placing more weight on the opinion of an anonymous blogger than the statement of the victim herself.
Do you think that the fact that Smart had just finished 8th grade when she was abducted helps to answer the question of whether she heard the chewed gum analogy in Seminary?
Are you challenging her own words that she knew she would be unconditionally accepted by her parents? Are you dismissing her perspective because it doesn’t fit your narrative of the case?
How would an ancient author describe rape?
Do you have any reason to think that a person born into an LDS home in 1987 would be taught in church that forcible rape made a girl unchaste and unvirtuous? Do you have any reason to suggest our church teaches that a girl has to repent after being raped? Smart would have entered the Young Women’s program at the age of 12 just before Y2K- November of 1999. In other words, she would have just finished in the Beehives class and moved into the Mia Maids.
FoF,
Kate- you refer to Surfer Girl, the movie, and claim that Elizabeth Smart’s case would have been better had her parents been better. What an unjustified criticism.
What? First , I didn’t even mention her parents. If she would have been taught the love and Saving Grace of God by ANYONE growing up maybe she would have had the strength to run or scream. She said herself that she was taught that she was worthless without her virtue. She didn’t’ try to get away because she was taught she was a used up piece of gum. Maybe she learned that at school but I learned that lesson at church. You need to get with the conversation instead of assuming what people are thinking. I don’t blame her parents at all, they were taught the exact same stuff as she was. I have seen her parents and how they have helped her through this, I didn’t’ “claim” anything about her parents. My bringing up the movie was to show that a girl can learn the lesson that she can do anything through Christ who strengthens her, yes even a kidnap victim. LDS are taught that death is better than losing your virtue, even if your virtue is lost due to rape. People need to know that they have value and worth no matter what sin they commit and no matter what situation they find themselves in. Jesus is there for us even if we lose our virtue.
“The problem with this case and the response from the church’s critics is that they completely ignore this reality and project very negative things about the church into this story that are not warranted.”
The poor church? Don’t you mean poor Elizabeth Smart? You need to go back and read the OP and maybe click on the link and watch Elizabeth’s talk. This is about a girl who was kidnapped and raped, who didn’t feel like she had any worth at all because of what she was taught in her religion and by a teacher at school. What religion is she? What church does she belong to? She is bringing awareness to an ugly crime that is all too prevalent in our society. She’s giving advice on what we should be teaching our children and it’s not what is still being taught in the LDS young women’s classes. You are so caught up in being offended for Dr your church that you are missing the message. Who cares if she is still LDS and married in the temple, that doesn’t change her message of the wrong things she said she was taught by a strict religious upbringing and a lesson she was taught about old chewed up gum.
Sharon and the Christians here are taking her message further and showing Mormons that there is One who loves us so much that He gave His blood for us. There is NOTHING he can’t forgive or love us through. That is a far cry from what the LDS church teaches about loss of virtue.
FOF,
So you’re doubling down here.
The problem is that your religious sect is in need of a reformation at all levels including doctrinally and culturally.
Pick up a copy of “Under The Banner of Heaven” which explains very clearly the culture that produces these “prophets” that run up and down Happy Valley proclaiming they’re the next big thing in Mormonism.
E. Smart explains the symptoms of a very sick religious system.
Grindael,
You obviously didn’t read what the blogger said (and she is not anonymous, she gives her name) She said, “I’m willing to bet it was from a seminary or church teacher, or at least a Mormon school teacher.” There are THREE possibilities there, genius.
This is not the issue, you are trying to create a straw man and it’s not working. Nice job though, beating up the Mormon blogger.
She never ever said the word “unconditionally”. She said she knew she would still be loved by them. She said in her interview, “I felt like how could ANYBODY love me”, then said that she was sure that even though what happened to her her parents would still love her. Then she went back to the question AGAIN and said that she felt in her captivity that “who would ever want me now” she said that after she was raped she felt so “crushed” so “dirty” and “filthy” because of her religious upbringing and then said it AGAIN, “who would want me now?” She said she didn’t run “because of that alone“. Who would she run to? Her parents. She said that the “most special thing” had been “taken” and that it “devalued her”. She then gives the chewed gum analogy and said that why would it do any good to be rescued because her life now had “no value“. She then said that young people should be taught that they would ALWAYS have “value”. Obviously, she felt she had NOT been taught this. Why don’t you listen to the interview before you go making inaccurate statements and putting words in people’s mouths? http://foxbaltimore.com/news/features/raw-news/stories/elizabeth-smart-speaks-at-johns-hopkins-human-trafficking-forum-486.shtml#
Does ANYBODY include her parents, regardless if she felt they would always love her? You tell me.
Not like the Book of Mormon does.
Nothing here about the woman LOSING HER VIRTUE.
Smart was 14 when she was abducted. Obviously from Smart’s own words, she felt that forcible rape made her filthy, dirty and unwanted. These are her words, not mine, and she said she felt this way because of her religious teachings.
I tuned into the Catholic TV channel a couple of months ago and heard the testimony of a young woman. She talked about having been raised Catholic and then in high school jettisoning her chastity and for several years lived the life of a libertine. She is very attractive and this led her to a life of being a high level model. She talked about continuing in the life style that started when she was in high school.
Some where along this path she had a very significant religious experience which I believed included a “vision”. Shortly there after she went on a photo shoot that included being asked to pose in some provocative poses. She said “no” and started to walk out the door. The enraged photographer shouted, “I’ll see that you never work again!” She said, “I don’t care!” and walked out the door.
Through a series of circumstances she was asked to speak about her former life and her change of heart. Today she is much in demand as a speaker at conferences on the subject of modesty and chastity. My point is that she came to Christ, repented, and turned her life around.
My guess is she doesn’t use any of the “techniques” that are used by the Mormon church to make her point. To her it’s all about her relationship with God. If Mormons want to emphasize chastity and abstinence with their young people, I’d suggest that the starting point is to change their doctrine on who Jesus is and the importance of establishing a personal relationship with Him. Knowing Christ Jesus as Lord is the pathway to the Father and a sanctified life style. Graphic stories that lead to a shame based decision won’t last. We’re all sinners but through Jesus Christ we are not devalued.
I now remember very clearly why I stopped posting here two years ago.
My best wishes to you guys.
May God bless you.
Faithoffathers, your tunnel vision created through the Mormon apologetic glasses you were bent
on wearing while here was on display , not only with how you attempted to defend your leaders’
erroneous doctrine of a universal /complete apostasy , but also on this particular thread .
You accused others here of bias yet you also exhibited the same ; you engaged in strawman type
statements ; and you broad brushed everyone here with unwarranted accusations .
I think that what MJP said on 5-15 @ 2:32 was spot on ! Not surprisingly you failed to provide
any solid answer to those points .
Now I would be remiss if I did not remind you that there is freedom from submission to men
who arise in these latter days who try and mimic the claims of Jesus’ true apostles .
There is spiritual freedom and acceptance by God together with the highest blessings of
life in His presence in heaven available outside of the Mormon church and it’s apostles .
You can begin to find this by exchanging your apostles for the ones that Jesus actually
appointed to teach His truths to mankind , they’re found in the New Testament.
It’s about Jesus , not Joseph . Jesus is enough . Heb 7:25
May God help you take that step .
Yea, some where right after the persecution card is played there is the sulk off.
I remember the former Mormon who used to post here who said he left Mormonism in part because he got tired of trying to defend it. Of course he didn’t believe it any more but the constant defending of what became, for him indefensible, became tedious.
I imagine that the fact that most of our posters are former Mormons makes it that much more difficult to defend Mormonism. These folks have been there, done that and got the tee shirt.
We value their contribution and willingness to share their experiences within the Mormon church.
Actually, what FoF said was very accurate, and I think your guys should consider taking off your glasses before criticizing anyone else.
Kate
Whether you intended to implicate her parents or not you did by implying that such was never taught to her by anyone. The fact is that it most likely was, despite all your arguments and unfounded assumptions to the contrary.
“As usual you missed the whole point.”
No, I got your point. My point is that you are taking a state problem and trying to make it a church problem. When you were shown how that becomes highly inaccurate even according to sources you site you dismiss it. That is my point. It was pointed out that according to the study the rate on online subscriptions was lower in areas with high concentrations of members, and higher where there were fewer members. This you dismissed out of hand, even though it clearly indicates that your claim to the level of porn use in the church is highly inaccurate.
I don’t care what a survey says about the state. If it is measuring the state it is not an appropriate measure of the church.
Brewed
Where do you get your information. Please site.
As to everything else: I know you find Elizabeth’s religion an issue. However, I think FoF is right when he wonders if a non-LDS said these same things would you really look to her religion and blame it for everything, just as you are trying to do here? In other words, if she wasn’t Mormon, would her religion even be considered in the matter.
I realize that most people here don’t care that she is still a member, that she is still active, and that she still embraces the doctrine of the church. I will say that from everything you have said here it appear your are more interested in how you can use this story to smear the church then you are in actually listening to Sister Smart and understanding what happened. You want to focus so much on what she said about how she felt at that time that you ignore everything afterwards.
So, until you can show where she blamed the doctrine of the church, or has ever spoken out against it, or the doctrine, then you really have no legitimate reason to use her words on this occasion in the way you do.
Shem,
“When you were shown how that becomes highly inaccurate even according to sources you site you dismiss it. ”
This is just wishful thinking on your part. Silkworm mentioned the things in this article so I am guessing that he may have read this as well. Notice how it says this:
“Although Utah is headquarters for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Edelman found that regions where people regularly attend religious services are not statistically different from their counterparts in more secular regions.”
And this:
“Even when I control for income, age, education, and marital status, Utah residents still consume disproportionately more than people from other states,” said Edelman.
http://www.sltrib.com/ci_11821265
“I don’t care what a survey says about the state. If it is measuring the state it is not an appropriate measure of the church.”
Then why did you comment? I said it was a series about the problems we are facing here in Utah as a STATE. Like it or not, the majority of the people in this State are LDS and a good portion are FLDS. I never once said it was a survey of your church. In some parts of this series it was mentioned that the religious culture of this State could be at fault. As I said, you don’t live here and you don’t know the culture.
“Whether you intended to implicate her parents or not you did by implying that such was never taught to her by anyone. The fact is that it most likely was, despite all your arguments and unfounded assumptions to the contrary.”
You know what they say about people who ASSUME?
Obviously it wasn’t taught to her or she wouldn’t have said she no longer had value. She was an old chewed up piece of gum, and who would want her now. These are things she said she was taught growing up in a strict religious home and by a teacher at school, who is most likely LDS to have used the same object lesson taught in young womens. Those are her words. She never once mentioned Jesus, maybe it was the setting she was in, who knows.
I have “tunnel vision.” The emnity and bias among the critics of the church interferes with their ability to see things clearly. Talk about seeing through a clouded “lense.”
Here is just a summary on the typical psychological response of rape victims since apparently no critic here knows anything about it. Or, you just want to ignore the obvious. This is taken from Wikipedia and the RAINN website:
Rape Trauma Syndrome (RTS) is the psychological trauma typically seen in rape victims. This syndrome involved physical, psychological, emotional, and inter-personal changes in response to the rape. It involves three stages- the acute phase, the outer-adjustment phase, and the renormalization phase.
The U.S. Rape Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN) states that a rape survivor’s acute stage can be classified as one of three responses: expressed (“He or she may appear agitated or hysterical, [and] may suffer from crying spells or anxiety attacks”); controlled (“the survivor appears to be without emotion and acts as if ‘nothing happened’ and ‘everything is fine'”); or shock/disbelief (“the survivor reacts with a strong sense of disorientation. They may have difficulty concentrating, making decisions, or doing everyday tasks). Not all rape survivors show their emotions outwardly. Some may appear calm and unaffected by the assault.
They also state that self-blame is among the most common of both short- and long-term effects and functions as an avoidance coping skill. Rape survivors feel guilty, for the most part, because they feel they did something wrong which caused them to be sexually assaulted. They feel guilty because it seems like their actions caused the assault.
There are two main types of self-blame: behavioral self-blame (undeserved blame based on actions) and characterological self-blame (undeserved blame based on character). Victims who experience behavioral self-blame feel that they should have done something differently, and therefore feel at fault. Victims who experience characterological self-blame feel there is something inherently wrong with them which has caused them to deserve to be assaulted.
Most victims cannot be reassured enough that what happened to them is “not their fault.” This helps them fight through shame and feel safe, secure, and grieve in a healthy way.
Behavioral self-blame is associated with feelings of guilt within the victim. While the belief that one had control during the assault (past control) is associated with greater psychological distress, the belief that one has more control during the recovery process (present control) is associated with less distress, less withdrawal, and more cognitive reprocessing
Survivors that uses the Controlled style, contain their emotions. Most of the survivor’s energy is directed toward maintaining composure. They may sit calmly, respond to questions in a detached, logical way, and downplay their fear, sadness, anger, and anxiety.
In general, the survivor’s initial response to the assault will be shock and disbelief. They may appear numb. Far from being inappropriate, this response provides an emotional “time-out” during which the survivor can acknowledge and begin to process the myriad components of the experience. A survivor who was assaulted by an acquaintance may have a particularly difficult time overcoming shock and disbelief. If the assault was particularly terrifying or brutal, the survivor may experience an extreme shock response and completely block out the assault.
They may feel angry, afraid, lucky to be alive, humiliated, dirty, vengeful, degraded.
In her book After The Silence:Rape and My Journey Back, Nancy Venable Raine says “rape shame is hard to escape…Attempts to dissipate the same by giving words to the unspeakable seem only to increase it. The shame is mirrored by the listener, sometimes quite obviously by a blush, an averting of the eyes, or a hunching of the shoulders, sometimes by silence. The telling then feels like a confession, an admission of wrongdoing, and the sense of is deepened. Shame is what the rapist, not the victim, should feel. Yet his shame is transferred to the victim, and her shame renders her mute. And her muteness seems to confirm the moral rightness of this transfer. The feeling of shame seems to make being the victim of rape an act of wrongdoing…”
Elizabeth Smart felt guilty, shamed, unworthy, and dirty. And this feeling kept her from a more aggressive attempt to escape. By pointing out something about her that kept her from responding better, you critics only confirm that typical psychological response of shame and guilt. And you completely ignore the fact that her response was absolutely typical of rape victims.
Shem,
You said “I know you find Elizabeth’s religion an issue. However, I think FoF is right when he wonders if a non-LDS said these same things would you really look to her religion and blame it for everything, just as you are trying to do here?”
Religions that place one’s value on their external circumstances are breeding grounds for sexual abuse. Religions that place value on anything other than the saving grace of Christ breed a religious spirit that causes people to do unhealthy things.
This is not just the case with the LDS but also in many other religious areas. For example in India there is a class of individuals called the Dalits. They are poor and cast out from society, made too feel that they are of less value because of circumstances out of their control. THis makes them a perfect target for human traffickers because they are not valued by society and the government does not do much to protect them. The young children that are trafficked from this community won’t run because they are brought up to believe that because they are Dalits, they are worthless.
Guess where this mentality comes from? This culture?
Religion.
It is the hindu cast systems that has created this culture. Even though the practice is outlawed it is so drenched in the culture it hasn’t stopped.
We are discussing the LDS church on this blog though.. I could go on and on about other religious systems that make for a fertile sexual abuse ground but we are choosing to focus on one in particular. Specifically the ones in Utah. The ones that place such high value you an a person doing all they can do. The one that makes a women with five children contemplate suicide because she cannot measure up. They one that had my best friend and mother of seven blaming herself because her step father raped her as a five year old. The one that teaches it is better to die then to lose your virtue. The one that places value not on the individual but on personal success and progression towards perfection.
Having messed up religions that also create this problem is important but this blog is focusing on the LDS church. Stop pointing a finger at other churches and focus on the problems in your own. I know I do, if a church doesn’t measure up to what God says it should, I want nothing to do with it. The church is not important, it’s Jesus who is important.
The practices of the LDS church when it comes to the redemptive power of christ are far from christian.
What would it take for a prostitute to be made clean in your church Shem? What about a murderer?
What do have to say about Spencer Kimball with his horrendous MOF quote?
“Also far-reaching is the effect of loss of chastity. Once given or taken or stolen it can never be regained. Even in a forced contact such as rape or incest, the injured one is greatly outraged. If she has not cooperated and contributed to the foul deed, she is of course in a more favorable position. There is no condemnation when there is no voluntary participation. It is better to die in defending one’s virtue than to live having lost it without a struggle.”
– Prophet Spencer W. Kimball, LDS Prophet, The Miracle of Forgiveness, p. 196
This all knowing prophet doesn’t know anything about being the victim of rape or sexual abuse. He knows nothing about child trafficking. He knows nothing of the value an individual has to God, no matter how filthy they are. Jesus makes ALL things new.
He says that if they fight, they are in a more favorable position. What does that even mean? That strongly implies that somehow the victim is at fault. What about a child who is raped over and over again in a brothel somewhere, who doesn’t have any fight left. Is this child sexually unclean?
Elizabeth Smart is still a member of the church and very happy about it.She was probably brought up in a very loving home. I am related to her by marriage and I can say from personal experience, her extended family is incredibly loving. I don’t blame her family. I blame the Utah culture and the LDS church for making her feel less valuable because her virginity was stolen. She was not equipped with enough knowledge about sex or her value to understand she was not at fault and that she was still just as important and valuable as anyone else. Where did that come from?
School? Most teachers are LDS. The LDS church is highly involved in the Utah government and school system.
The church influences Utah culture much the same way that the Hindu religion influences the Indian Culture.