On February 21st (2010) a young woman sent her secret to the Post Secret blog. She wrote,
“I started a blog to talk about how I’m ‘Faking it’ as a Mormon…I haven’t told my husband I joined for him.”
Calling herself “The Faker,” the blogger describes herself as “Married, childless, petless, late-20s… and, of course, fumbling through life as a make-believe Mormon.” Her blog, Faking It — The Life and Times of a Make-Believe Mormon, is the place where, she says, “I [can] tell the world how I really feel.” And she does.
The Faker fell in love with a Mormon man (returned missionary) and converted to Mormonism so she wouldn’t lose him. Then she married him. She writes,
“I have a handsome RM husband who absolutely adores me. He is an incredibly motivated person who is on his way up in a big corporation. Working is optional for me. We own a nice house. So on and so forth. And I totally wish I was as thrilled with that as I feel like I should be.
“In actuality, though, I’m not. I feel trapped a lot. I have a lot of resentment stemming from the pressure that was applied to me to convert. Worse than that, however, is the feeling I can’t shake that I was deceitful and made my own bed. After all, I pretended I was okay with converting and all that jazz. Much more serious than having pretended to love action films, for instance.”
The Faker isn’t mad at the LDS Church — she just doesn’t believe it and doesn’t enjoy going and being a part of that faith. And she feels trapped. After sending in her Post Secret last week she found she wasn’t alone. People who heard of The Faker’s blog flocked to her site to encourage and empathize. Some of the comments left by other make-believe Mormons are heartbreaking as they express their fears and regrets. A few excerpts:
“I went though the motions to marry the LDS girl I love, even the two year ‘wasted time’ adventure. I go to the three hour death march every Sunday. I don’t have a single true friend in the ward, but [what] I have is a phone ringing off the wall with folks asking me to do things for them…”
“I am a different person at church than I am at home — I am lucky my husband knows who I truly am, but I can’t open my heart to him and tell him how wrong I feel doing certain things. …I haven’t let him watch me weep…”
“I grew up in Utah…lived the ‘faking it’ life for about 5 years, 2 of which was married to the RM husband. I couldn’t do it any longer… It was a huge struggle for me day in and day out to ‘fake it’.”
“I am in my forties, I went on a mission for the LDS faith. Now I’m a faker for my children. I’m not sure how that’s going to go. My guess is that it will go badly.”
So these people find themselves between a rock and a hard place. What should they do? Continue the make-believe or come clean? The Faker writes,
“Whether or not [my husband] really *grasps* the full extent of my discontent is more iffy…It’s not like he has the constant barrage of doubts, thoughts, et cetera that I have. Understandable.
“The other problem is that the whole ‘doing something about it’ is easier said than done. For those of you who have been in the LDS church, you’ll know what I mean when I say it’s not a part-time religion. Your whole life tends to revolve around it…
“So, have no fear: I’m not pretending to be a Molly [Mormon] to my husband. And trust me, he’s expressed regret for pressuring me back in the day. We were both naïve. It’s just very difficult to know what choices to make from here. Where is my crystal ball?”
Many of The Faker’s readers told her to be obedient to the restored gospel, to fulfill her callings, to seek more diligently for a testimony of the Book of Mormon, to put the best face on her doubts and wait them out — in other words, keep up the charade. I don’t think that’s what Jesus would tell her to do. Nor would He tell her to consult a crystal ball. Finding wisdom in God’s Word, this is what I believe this young woman should consider:
- Regarding her relationship with her husband, love “rejoices with the truth” (1 Corinthians 13:6).
- Regarding feeling trapped, “the truth will set you free” (John 8:32).
- Regarding her relationship with her LDS friends, “Speak the truth to one another;… love no false oath,…[and] love truth” (Zechariah 8:16-18).
Jesus taught of the folly of building a house on the sand. When the winds and rain come, the house will fall. But, those who are wise build on the rock. Then when the storms come, the house will stand firm (Matthew 7:24-27). The Faker is building her house — her life — on sand. She fails to trust the words of Christ. She believes living the truth will cost her too much. But Jesus also taught, “[W]hoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it” (Matthew 16:25).
Truth is often costly. To each make-believe Mormon (and to everyone else), I encourage you to believe and act on Christ’s words: love the truth — the truth will set you free. Build your life on the Rock. Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life” (John 14:6), so lose your life for the sake of the Truth, and by His grace, you will find new life — and be at peace.
I agree with The Faker’s sentiment, “The other problem is that the whole ‘doing something about it’ is easier said than done.” She’s right; it’s easy to say and yet much harder to do. Nevertheless, it is true — and it is worth doing something about.
That sure is a tough place to be, not only for her but it should be for her husband.
In my opinion, if the man truly loves her, he wouldn’t want her to be fake about her choice of faith. If it isn’t sincere, then what is it worth?
However I’ve had a stomach twisting, sorrow filled view of my wife’s friend who recently has desire to leave the church. The reason I have sorrow is because she expressed to her husband that she doesn’t believe it anymore and wants out of the church, but he told her that if she left, he would divorce her. (keep in mind they have 3 little girls). Where’s the fruits of the spirit coming from in her husband? No where to be found! What kind of man would want their “true love” to continue a charade where they feel uncomfortable in?
I think the dishonesty this woman is continuing to let be a part of their relationship will continue to get worse over time and have a deeper effect later on – she should come clean is what I’m saying. I agree though though on the whole easier said than done, but something has to give.
She needs to do it before they have children at least, that puts a whole ‘nother complexity into the situation.
I don’t think this person’s dificulty is specific to any particular religion, or even religion in general.
My advice to her would be to be honest- be straight with her husband and others. And I agree with others that she needs to “experiment upon the word” to find out for herself the truthfulness of the BOM and church.
It seems to me that she knows Mormonism isn’t true so why do the Mormon two step as far as trying to work-up a testimony? It’s the old “fake it till you make it” syndrome. Christ calls us to a relationship with Him, not to membership in some organization. I would tell her to seek after God, not after a testimony of Joseph Smith, the BoM, the Mormon church and the current false prophet.
My answer to Mormons who say pray about the BoM and read it to get a testimony is, “I don’t have to.” I already know that Mormons don’t have a testimony of the living One true God, so why would I read a book from an organization that denies God?
So the woman and those like her should dust off their Bibles because it’s there they will find God.
Being raised LDS I took it as the truth as a child, not knowing anything else. I remember thinking it strange that anyone would believe anything else. In my teenage years I found many elements of the LDS faith to be difficult to believe. I wasn’t allowed to express any of my own belief. Technically I suppose I was ‘welcome’ but also ‘welcome’ to move out of the house, if I could. So I faked it.
I do remember really suspending my doubts, and it was actually the time when I came the closest to actually believing this stuff honest. That was when the Bishop pulled me aside and said that he thought I was ‘just going through the motions’. Its funny how he really thought he knew what I was thinking or feeling. I agreed to avoid conflict, but it was exactly that experience that caused me to doubt again.
Whenever I expressed some doubt, the usual response by other LDS members was ‘get a testimony’ like it was a personal failing. It was some badge of honor you had to work for. For me I ultimately found it too taxing to suspend what didn’t seem real. That takes real work.
I’m sure there is more of this than most realize or would like to admit.I have always suspected that certain people that I have known in the LDS church over the years were only “going through the motions”, and didn’t really believe the LDS church was true. In my own experience of leaving mormonism, once I began making it known publicly to those in my life of my unbelief in the teachings of mormonism, I have been amazed that others have now begun to admit to me that they don’t believe it either, yet they are still going through the motions,fullfilling callings etc. Amazing, Even more amazing to me was that a person that I have known since grade school, who I shared my story with about coming out of mormonism, then invited me to be a part of a hidden group on Facebook that consisted of active and inactive and ex mormons, who are, in most of the “active” moromons cases just faking it.It botheres me that such a group exists, if there is strength in numbers perhaps if all these “fakers” would come out of the closet, the LDS churh might be driven to its doctrinal knees and have to do something. We don’t do anyone who is buried in the LDS traditons any good by not bringing forth the Truth and sharing the True gospel of Jesus Christ with them.
Great Posts from all of you. I was married for 40 years to a man who faked it for awhile, then just quit going all together. I raised our two daughters in the LDS belief, took them every week to Sacrament, enrolled them in Seminary during their HS years, listened to their prayers every night and did this with out any help from my mate who was more agnostic then a believer in any religion at all. He was a wonderful father, and good husband, a provider and protector. He also smoked almost every day of our lives together, which did not really bother me a whole lot, but he tried to hide it from the kids. It became apparent even to them that Dad was not interested in Spiritual matters nor was he living the word of wisdom. Long story short version. When we were going through our divorce, he made every effort to change, gave up smoking, attended Church and got his patriarchal blessing, even went through the temple. We divorced regardless, and after some 7 years later, he has gone back to his inactivity, but I don’t belief his smoking 🙂 Point being, I’m happy for him, and had known secretly he was doing most of the things he did for me and not because he believed the Church to be true. My girls are both College graduates, became inactive, married, had four children each, married out of the Church. Both have come back to their roots, both son-in- laws, Doctors, joined the Church and both families have gone to the temple. Faking it is wrong, one has to find which truths they desire to believe in, and then just stay the course no matter what your mate or family eventually do on their own. I am a believer of free will, and that nobody should be forced or persuaded to believe one way or another.
Janet.
Those of us who are Christians know the Biblical admonition to not be unequally yoked to an unbeliever. It’s good advice. When my wife and I got married, I was not a believer in fact I was hostile to religion in general. So by all accounts, my wife shouldn’t have married me. But we were young and the consideration of religious beliefs were not really on the radar screen of either of us. Thankfully, through the grace of God, I came to a knowledge of the saving grace of Jesus Christ. Accepting Jesus through faith as my personal Savior, assuring through His atoning death on my behalf-eternal life, we became equally yoked. And we lived happily ever after……right! There are struggles in any marriage but if Christ is sitting on the throne of headship within a family (rather than the wife, husband or kids) at least the proper order has been established.
The problem with Mormonism is all of the monkey business that goes on that has nothing to do with someone’s relationship with God. In fact, Mormonism doesn’t even get that fundamental belief right. So an unbelieving Mormon spouse, in my estimation, is probably just not willing to go along with the Mormon program. Hopefully the woman writing on the blog will find Christ and in finding Him will be able, through her example, to pull her husband out of Mormonism.
Problem, no body can pull anybody out anything that they don’t want to do on their own. Free will should always be respected, a better way is to try and present what you believe, set a good example and hopefully they will do the rest of the work to find the light and knowledge that best suits them. Right or wrong, one can not be nor should they be pulled, bullied, threatened or made to feel an obligation.
Janet.
Faking it is lying. It is a sin. However, we are all sinners – and whether faking in a religion you don’t believe, or faking it that this job is going to make me happy and fulfill me, or this sexual conquest is going to give me what I need, etc. etc. everyone is “faking” it in one way or another. Everyone is a sinner in need of a savior – so just leaving Mormonism and moving into some other addiction, or cause, or pantheism or universalism (as her blog points to – “all religions are equally valid”), or some other religious system does not gain anyone anything. I am praying that this woman will see Jesus Christ and understand God’s grace given to us through the cross. Only there can salvation be found. Only there in the cross, can we rest from our toils and find forgiveness as we cast our lives on the mercy of Jesus. Jesus have mercy on me a sinner. We are all trapped in sin and unrighteousness and must look to God for His great mercy and forgiveness that comes through a bloody cross. In my own life I know that God’s judgment is on my head, but for the bloody cross. But God never turned anyone away who looked to His mercy – the thief on the cross (Luke 23:42,43), the tax collector (Luke 18:13 – 14), David looking for mercy (Psalm 6:9 – 10). Everyday I must learn not to fake it and rely on myself and my own righteousness, my own will to follow Christ – but cry out to God “have mercy on me through the cross of Christ.” God hears that prayer and forgives, granting eternal life with Him for all who trust in nothing more than His Grace. What a great freedom with have in Jesus! (Galatians 5:1)
Oh now Janet, please read my post carefully. Notice that I said that the woman should provide an “example” for her husband. That’s Biblical Janet. Through her “example” her husband would see the light of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
You unfortunately married a guy who in Mormon terms was a loser. There will be no forever family because exhubby couldn’t cut it in the Mormon program. You won’t get pulled through the veil by him and you won’t hear him call out your secret name. I don’t know what’s going to happen to your kids in the Mormon program since your husband didn’t do what he needed to do to become a god. This is the tragedy of the false system of Mormonism. A Mormon woman has to put her hope in a man and not Jesus Christ.
As a Christian, you wouldn’t have to be concerned as to whether or not your husband had the chops to become a god. You wouldn’t have to depend on him for anything because you’d be depending on Jesus Christ and His sacrifice on the cross. You’d be trusting in Jesus Christ in the resurrection and not some flawed Mormon man who didn’t do enough to become a god.
Mormon women have no hope beyond their husbands. I would think that you’d want to become a part of the Christian body that is the Bride of Christ.
Janet you are wrong. God pulls us all out (using His Word spoken into our lives through others). He does all the work to save us. Nobody goes anywhere but hell following their own will – willing to do this or that, or following their own self-will into another cause. Through Jesus, God has accomplished all, and through His Word grants faith to pull us out and redeem us from our own sinful wicked selves. And we continue on in that grace and mercy in our lives – it’s not a one time thing but both salvation and growth in Christ is all grace – beginning to end. Read Galatians, all of it, it’s an eye-opener. You will find Mormonism in the message of the letter to the Galatians, and it’s not spoken of positively. God never turns anyone away who asks for mercy. He rebukes the proud and self-righteous and those who would bind people up in a rules, laws, obligations that can never be fulfilled – seeking salvation through their own efforts and self-perfection. Be of good cheer though, God’s mercy can cover even the sin of self-righteousness, if one will turn and trust only in the mercy and grace of Christ.
I never admit I’m right, I have been wrong to many times to think I have all the answer or any at all. My desire is the same as yours most likely. Share the Gospel of Christ with others, be an example of what you believe in, and don’t pretend that you can save someone else. I totally agree with you, “God Pulls US Out”, I never stated otherwise. God can’t pull us out without some effort on our part first to take the reins of showing forth Faith. Second that effort must lead to study and desire to learn, third one must learn to pray, and believe in the value of prayer, fourth is to expect an answer or believe God will answer all prayers of faith. Following ones will does not lead to hell, will is choice, Satan desires to take away your will and take away your ability to choose. Satan can’t redeem us, but he would do all in his power to keep us from the truth, that one truth being, “Jesus is the Christ.
Falcon stated, ” Hopefully the woman writing on the blog will find Christ and in finding Him will be able, through her example, to pull her husband out of Mormonism.”
I apologize, in retrospect you did admonish that first the women needed to find Christ, and then by example this would possibly pull her husband out of Mormonism.
I stand corrected, and hopefully the opposite would come true, by living the standards of a LDS member, hopefully it will pull her a direction to study and read about the Restoration of Christ Gospel, and the Book of Mormon where they can then test it out for themselves to see if it rings true or not.
Janet.
Janet,
I sincerely ache for you in my spirit. You have the right attitude, but the wrong God. I also can smell the Mormonism emanating from your statement about “effort”. Mormons cannot wrap their minds around the concept of a God who extends to us His love, mercy, forgiveness and yes, grace. Mormons are stuck on effort and works. In Mormonism it’s all about “doing”. In Christianity it’s all about receiving the gift of eternal life that God offers us as a free gift. The fact of the matter is that within Christianity we recognize that we can never get good enough to get right with God. That’s why God became a man in the person of Jesus Christ and took upon Himself the penalty for our sins. My motivation in leading a godly life is in gratitude to God for what He did for me.
The Mormon “effort” comes as a result of their false religion that teaches that through concerted striving, they can become gods. The poor Mormon woman who marries a slacker of a Mormon man has no hope.
Mormon women need to come to that place in their spiritual lives where they realize that there is no exaltation to goddess status based on what works their husband has done. Their is One God. He has provided for us the pathway to forgiveness and eternal life; to be with Him for eternity. It is a gift that we don’t deserve and can’t earn. We receive it through faith in Jesus.
In my experience the practice of “faking it” is pandemic in Mormonism. At this point you’ve got an awful lot of Mormons that have educated themselves,looking for a way out.
Just a brief comment.
I find your responses to Janet’s sincere story of loss and difficulty to be absolutely pathetic.
Janet- you will never satisfy such critics. Once they have labeled you, they are unable to see anything but fault and flaw. I wonder at times if the boundaries they create allow for mercy, empathy, or understanding.
Janet,
I’m not sure I understand your comments about ‘free will’ and your marriage. The part about not making people feel obligated. Much of the LDS belief and practice involves a lot of obligations, obligations to family, and church service. Other churches and religious bodies may have obligations, but from what I see is that these aren’t the same as far as salvation goes.
In addition I don’t think that ‘free agency’ exists. I know that this doctrine is so central to mormon thinking, and to some degree christian thought. I don’t think I shall attempt to explain why there is fault with it, I found that LDS people seriously don’t try to understand how this teaching could be false.
I’ll tell you what’s truly pathetic is a religion, aka Mormonism, that binds a woman’s hope for the highest reward (becoming a goddess) to the works/production of a sinful man. That’s what is cruel and unfeeling. Janet didn’t lose anything because there’s nothing to lose! Women like Janet need to wake-up to the fact that their hope is in Jesus Christ and not the Joe Doakes they happen to marry.
Jesus death on the cross satisfied God’s requirement that we be totally pure and righteous to enter His presence. None of us can do this by our own efforts. The Mormon idea that someone can dress up in a costume and do rituals borrowed from Free Masonry in a faux temple, and gain the reward of becoming a god is repugnant.
So these women who marry fakers or Mormon deadbeats have no hope in that system. To placate things, Mormons go on these speculation riffs as to what the Mormon god will do to help these women out. Maybe Joseph Smith, as he’s standing by the door of the Celestial Kingdom, giving the OK for those he deems good enough to pass by, picks off some of these women to be sealed to him.
What needs to happen is that these Mormon women need to put their hope in Jesus Christ. The apostle Paul wrote:
“But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ. More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish in order that I may gain Christ, and may be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own derived from the Law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which comers from God on the basis of faith, that I may know Him, and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death; in order that I may attain to the resurrection from the dead.” (Philippians 3:7-11)
Mormon women need to find the real Jesus who will provide for them.
So the little Mormon girl goes off to the temple to be sealed to returning missionary William Wonderful. All of her hopes, dreams and aspirations are invested in her new husband who will achieve godhood and she, through his efforts, a shining goddess. They will rule their planets and partake in endless procreation of spirit offspring for eternity. The minions they produce will, when given human bodies, pray to and adore them. What a dream!
And then William the Wonderful doesn’t turn out to be so wonderful. He may be a faker, a phoney or perhaps a fraud, but one thing is certain, he’s not the guy who’s going to turn her into a goddess. The marriage begins to unravel and so does her dream.
Thus is the result of way too many temple marriages. While Mormon societal pressure and the false hopes and dreams of the woman can sometimes hold the marriage together, more often than not, these troubled marriages end in divorce. The priesthood authority, sealings, rituals and blessings can’t keep the marriage together.
Thus the fake husband and the fake promise of exaltation to deity status goes down the tubes. The promises of Mormonism are themselves fake. It’s no doubt that Mormon women lose faith in the organization that promises a lot but can’t deliver on any of it.
The only hope is in Christ Jesus. He provides a way to eternal life through His death on the cross. Having faith in Christ provides the real answers and the real reward which is eternal life with God, not becoming a god.
That was quite the condolence Jim
Janet,
It’s unfortunate that your marriage failed,
sorry to read about that. I remember years ago
when I learned about Mormon teachings,in this
case the wife’s connection to her husband, that
the Mormon wife has a more difficult path to
negotiate in the marriage.The fight to see their
husbands, their “priests”, stay worthy, as this
is connected to the wife’s position in the after-
life.
Mormon Apostle Orson Pratt in teaching on the
necessity of the women being sealed to a worthy
man in order to receive heavenly exaltation:
” You will clearly preceive from the revelation
which God has given that you can never obtain
a fulness of glory without being married to a
righteous man for time and eternity”
To fail to do so meant, ” losing the privlege of
enjoying the society of a husband in eternity .
You forfeit your right to an endless increase of
immortal lives. And even the children which you
may be favored with in this life will not be
entrusted to your charge in eternity, but you will
be left in that world without a husband, without
a family, without a kingdom.”
Mormon marriage theology relegated those with
marriage failures to the role of “servants and
angels”. [Mormon Polygamy,p.47 ]
How does this affect mormon women today? One thing
I suppose is that there is still stress involved
in a Mormon wife’s life , in reguards to current
Mormon doctrine.
God, long ago knew that men could make life
difficult for women.That’s why,as far as our
eternal destiny is concerned, we are counseled
by God to respectfully ignore other “priests”
(who could be fakers themselves) and go straight
to JESUS.Because of Him there is going to be
an eternal marriage that can’t fail. Please see
Rev.19:7-9
The necessity for an eternal marriage does not apply only to women. The same is true for men. Why do you present your case as if it is a requirement for women, but not men? Is it for the benefit of a sympathetic response?
Because my friend the Mormon “faker” blog is written by a woman and a Mormon woman responded and we are responding to her.
Mormons are stuck in an impossible religious system of trying to make themselves into gods and goddesses. It is easy to see why Mormons turn into fakers. They either don’t believe the Mormon church is true and they keep-up a front to protect their standing in the community or in their employment or for some other personal reason.
Fakers could also be people who just can’t do the Mormon program any more and are willing to settle for a lower level of reward or plan on finishing up the work after they die, in the next world. They are like 90% of people who finish the course work for their Ph.D but never do the dissertation and therefore don’t get the fancy robe and hood to wear.
Until Mormons are ready to turn away from their false god and the false promises of Mormonism, they will be populated by frustrated believers and a multitude of fakers.
I can sense some panic in OJ’s post above. What if the Mormon women lurkers out there get a hold of this idea that God is offering them eternal life through faith in Jesus a part from their Mormon husband’s work program. The steady flow out of Mormonism will become a torrent!
Janet,
It seems to me that you answer and affirm that God pulls us out, and then immediately launch into everything we must do. Scripture indicates that no one comes unto the Father unless He draws Him. That means any desire I have for prayer, for Bible study, for serving others does not come from within – it is a gift of God through His grace. As God works within us, we are being transformed – we are not transforming ourselves by sheer self-will. When I started to understand complete dependence upon the finished work of Christ, that’s when hope came into my heart. Jesus Christ accomplished my salvation in an actual place and time, in a real historical event – an occurrence that does not depend on me in any way. He grants me that salvation if I will believe, trusting in Him and His mercy. We are sinners – I have done things I regret and been crushed under the weight of my sin and God’s law judging my sin. My only hope lies in Jesus and His sacrificial death for my sins. That’s where your hope lies to – not in how much you seek or pray or do or serve or give or love – the only hope we have is in Jesus apart from anything we say or do. We can never add to or subtract from the salvation that Christ accomplished and gives freely.
It is good not to smoke as smoking is bad for your health. It is good to live honestly and not in deception pretending you are something you are not. It is good to love others. All these good things though will never save us. Not smoking may give one a longer life here on earth. Being honest about your beliefs will open doors of communication, but won’t provide the gift of Salvation. Loving others and giving to others will make you be loved by others and give you a purpose – but it does not bring us into right relationship with God. That’s what Jesus did – He provided the sacrifice on the cross, He gave all so that we might live.
Jim,
I dont know if you were responding to my last
post or to Falcon, so I’ll comment.
By the tone of your comment you seem agitated.
Where did I say that it was only necessary for
LDS women , and not men, to be married eternity?
In context my comments were in respect to the
role of the LDS wife. As for any ” sympathetic
response”, I was’nt expecting any response at
all.
Amen Mobaby. Every day I wake up and pray that I’ll be less coarse, guard my eyes and my thoughts, keep my mouth shut, be less angry, etc. Every day I fail in some respect. Some days are good, particularly when I’m not tired and I’m insulated from the world. Every night I come home needing forgiveness for doing things the world would see as no big deal. I don’t claim to be perfect or even claim that I’m working my way to perfection. My hope lies in the fact that I care that I can’t behave myself. That knowledge assures me that the Holy Spirit is still active in my life convicting me of sin, not judging me for committing sins. My salvation is assured by God Himself. I have God’s promise, which is a sure thing, that Jesus Christ paid the penalty for my sins past, present and future. I see sinning Mormons every day and wonder how they deal with the guilt of knowing that they must make the next sacrament meeting, try harder, etc. The problem is that many Mormons, especially the women who are worked like slaves to be perfect for their priesthood holders need to take prescription medication just to get through the day.
This was God in the flesh telling the Jews to lay down the burdens laid upon them by the Pharisees and pious self-righteous religionists of His day. Jesus Christ has taken my burden upon Himself. Why would anyone accept the burden of Joseph Smith?
What I see here in this story are 2 people who started off their relationship with a lie each. This is not a good way to start a relationship or marriage. We LDS are taught that it is better/easier to marry someone who is already in the LDS faith to avoid situations like this – a Falcon pointed out above. One of our general authorities made a comment in his talk when I was a teen (mid to late 80’s) that the type of person you date is the type of person you’ll marry, Thus if you date predominately non-LDS you will marry one. The man in this story was lying to himself for thinking that he could date a non-LDS and not get involved, or that she will ‘come to her senes’ and convert totally to the church. That was a lie that started this whole thing. If he was truthful then he would either not date non-LDS or he would know that there was a high chance that her conversion (if she did convert) would not be a true conversion. Her lie was that she converted to get married to him.
Honesty is the best policy, as the scriptures dictate.
mobaby and liv4jc,
For moment there, I thought we were having church! Great comments and such a straight-forward presentation of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. If a Mormon can’t see the profound difference in Christianity and Mormonism based on what you two have written………well, we need to leave the rest up to the Holy Spirit.
I’m wondering if OJ or Ralph would tell us what a Mormon man has to do to attain god-status in order for his wife to become his forever goddess? I’m also wondering if these two Mormon men would report on their “doing” for the last six months so we’d get an idea of the type, number and level of activities that must be done to hit the Mormon jackpot? So Ralph and OJ, have you done enough and is there a point where a Mormon man can cash-out, take early retirement and not have to do the day-to-day Mormon grind in order to become a god?
Andy Watson tells me about the Mormon guys he sees in this restaurant everyday who are retired and sit around and drink coffee and discuss topics of daily interest. One of his Mormon acquittance, a life long Mormon, knows virtually nothing about Mormonism. He’s the one who’s kicking back and going to do the “work” in the here-after. I don’t think he’s a faker, but he’s definitely a Mormon slacker.
I love statistics and a couple that come to mind are that two-thirds of those on the Mormon rolls are inactive. The other is that fifty percent of returning missionaries go inactive. Now we learn that there’s this percentage of Mormon men and women who are Mormon fakers. So of the remaining, that could be considered active, how many are temple Mormons? By that I mean the ones that are striving to get to the top of the Mormon rung. How many of the Mormon women are disappointed in their husband’s lack of progress and are concerned that they aren’t going to have a planet or two to rule?
And just think, it’s all a myth anyway and the ones that are into it are on a treadmill going nowhere.
Find Jesus!
I don’t know if I missed it… is this a temply-married woman?
From my vantage point what I see here are some pretty decent people trapped in a very bad religious system. I think a reading of “Churches that Abuse” or “The Subtle Nature of Spiritual Abuse” would be of help to these fakers. Perhaps it would give them some insights into what spiritual abusive systems are like and recognizing their own situation, flee the scene.
I think “Mormon” needs to be split into two categories. A cultural Mormon may have no need to fake anything. But a religious Mormon (someone with a calling, for example)is, at some level, in front of some people, and/or about something, pretending. What makes me sure? Well, for one thing experience. Having to be as good as you’re supposed to be… are Mormons the only ones on the planet who really are able to be as righteous as their gospel requires? I’m thinking, no. Mormons are just as plagued with sin as any other humans. They’re just faking it – either to someone else or to themselves
Falcon,
You said that Mormons are decent people. I agree.
I truely believe that the Mormon people are very
sincere, and are striving to serve God. Yet, as
you also stated, they are trapped in submitting
to a false prophet religion etc.
Set Free,
As one who has never been a Mormon, I can’t even
imagine the pressure there is to try and measure
up to the perfection demanded by the Mormon
“gospel”. Praise Jesus you’ve been set free!
Well for a little bit of information that you guys might not like.
70% of women fake it in bed.
“Fakers could also be people who just can’t do the Mormon program any more and are willing to settle for a lower level of reward or plan on finishing up the work after they die, in the next world.”
Could be these women are just settling for a lower reward,
One poster stated:
(Faking it is lying. It is a sin.)
Janet 🙂
I think one of the biggest lies in Mormonism (which most Mormons are banking on) is that nobody is going to make it to the Celestial Kingdom (how could they? Nobody is perfect). So everyone in the church will at least make it to the Terrestrial Kingdom, and so will all of their well behaved friends who professes a belief in Jesus Christ. This is really a win/win situation. The Terrestrial Kingdom is still pretty sweet and because they believe in Jesus Christ and have received their ordinances (but have not lived all of the commandments) it is a cinch that they’ll make it there. It’s pretty comforting if you think about it. It’s an all too comforting doctrine that one can always resort to when they feel the guilt of not living all the commandments. Unfortunately it won’t actually suffice on Judgement Day because it’s not true. You will either be judged according to your works or your name is written in the Book of Life. Those whose names are not written in the Book of Life will be thrown into the lake of fire prepared for the devil and his angels. The only way your name gets written in the Book of Life is if Jesus Christ died to pay for your sins. How do you know if your name is written in the Book? You will freely admit that you are a sinner worthy of judgement with no hope in the world, repent of your former sinful life, believe that Jesus Christ is Lord(God)who paid for you sins in full. This pardon is free gift from God that cannot be earned. It is offered only to those who come before the throne of grace offering nothing but their lives in submission to His Lordship.
Falcon,
You love sadistics … oops sorry I mean statistics? I hate them – did too much about them at uni.
Anyway, do you love this statistic – 50 percent of the TRUE BELIEVERS of Jesus Christ (call them what you will) will make it into Heavenly Father’s presence (or heaven for you) for eternity. How did I come up with this number? The parable of the 10 virgins. Jesus started out by saying that “The KINGDOM OF HEAVEN” (Matt 25:1). now as almost every Ev on this site has said in the past – the Kingdom of Heaven are the true believers. So which 50 percent do you belong to? And how do you know you belong to the correct portion?
But statistics prove nothing about whether your religion or mine or neither are the true religion, do they? Jesus taught that we must enter the strait and narrow way/gate, and that few will actually enter there-in. So while I am not over all ‘worried’ about the statistics of inactive members, I am concerned about the people that are in that category.
As far as those you know who have ‘retired’ from LDS, that is between them and God. And that one man who says he will do it all in the after-life, we teach that we only get one chance – it appears that he has squandered his in this life and will not get another in the after-life – but again, that is between him and God.
Janet said, Well for a little bit of information that you guys might not like.
70% of women fake it in bed.
Who cares?
23.5% of men, obviously.
Aaaahh, the joy of statistics…and damn lies!
Did you know that 52% of all statistics are made up on the spot?
…sorry, couldn’t help myself. I’ll shut up now.
The Mormon Church does NOT believe (though they do teach) that this life is ALL you get. Even though it goes against everything in the Bible, everything that Jesus stood for, and everything that many of the so-called prophets of Mormondom have taught, there is a back-door where murderers and Apostates can get into the Celestial Kingdom after they die, even though they were ex-communicated from the Church and died without coming back to it. It seems it is NOT between them and God, it is between them and whoever the current prophet is. Are there any Mormons who know what I am talking about? I’ll give you a hint: it is a perversion of something Jesus taught and it is in the Book of Matthew.
As a side note, considering some of the things revealed by some of the plural wives from early Utah, faking it in bed seemed to be the LEAST of their problems. BIG LOVE. Who knew?
Ralph,
As usual you do a masterful job of torturing the Scriptures! The ninth president of the LDS church David O. McKay even went so far to say that this parable refers to the LDS church. So what the prophet says must be true, right? Ah, the creativity of the false Mormon prophets! Joseph Smith would probably tell us that the ten virgins refer to his plural wives or those of Jesus or the Mormon god. See how easy it is to shoe horn the Scriptures and mold them to support aberrant and heretical doctrines? Yea, and it’s all revealed, YIPPIE!
Mormons have bought the program emotionally and now try desperately to justify it rationally, by any means necessary. So Ralph if you want the parable to mean that a person has to work their way into heaven or whatever, have at it. You’re standing on a religion that has as it’s foundation a series of lies anyway, so what’s the difference?
BTW, I was wondering how many Mormon missionaries are fakers? They meander aimlessly around the villages and cities of the world on their bicycles pretending to spread the LDS fantasy to unsuspecting and uninformed people. I would guess a large share of the boys and girls are out there getting their LDS ticket punched without having any heart for it. That’s just one of the many works related pressures that are applied by the LDS culture. Just one more rung on the LDS ladder; a rite of passage.
Getting back to the article by Sharon:
“Many of The Faker’s readers told her to be obedient to the restored gospel, to fulfill her callings, to seek more diligently for a testimony of the Book of Mormon, to put the best face on her doubts and wait them out — in other words, keep up the charade. I don’t think that’s what Jesus would tell her to do. Nor would He tell her to consult a crystal ball. Finding wisdom in God’s Word, this is what I believe this young woman should consider:”
I agree here that Jesus would not want anyone to live a life of deceit, or being in denial of ones true feelings. This article touches upon human nature, conflicts in marriage and religion, but mostly any real efforts at communication within families and marriages. “Make Believe Mormons”, kind of smells like a marketing device to lead someone to a common opinion, like Mormons are somehow the only ones that have Make Believe Members, or they somehow belong to a Religion that is filled with “Fakers”. I don’t think we have the Market on this tool, in fact I don’t believe that any poster here has not at least one time in their lives faked something. To Fake is the same as a lie, and hence sinning, (one posters comment), is a stunning but brief example of summing up what Mormons do as somehow evil. I’m not taking aim at Sharon, she did not seem to comment on this, but one poster did and I found it amazingly ignorant of human nature, not only Mormons but in common with many Christian believers also. That is why I stated it begins with a degree of Faith, it takes study and prayer, and last the offering up of prayers to our Heavenly Father, James 1:5.
“The Faker isn’t mad at the LDS Church — she just doesn’t believe it and doesn’t enjoy going and being a part of that faith. And she feels trapped.” quote from OP. It takes a small amount of communication at first to begin a much longer discourse with any mate, or even family member in helping one to make personal decisions.
Ralph said, “Anyway, do you love this statistic – 50 percent of the TRUE BELIEVERS of Jesus Christ (call them what you will) will make it into Heavenly Father’s presence (or heaven for you) for eternity. How did I come up with this number? The parable of the 10 virgins. Jesus started out by saying that “The KINGDOM OF HEAVEN” (Matt 25:1). now as almost every Ev on this site has said in the past – the Kingdom of Heaven are the true believers. So which 50 percent do you belong to? And how do you know you belong to the correct portion?”
Ralph, parables are not meant to teach doctrine, but to convey a truth. There could have been ten virgins, 7 wise and 3 foolish. What is the lessen of the parable? Jesus sums it up in Matthew 25:13 “Watch, therefore, for you know neither the day or the hour in which the Son of Man is coming.” The point is to always be ready for the return of the Lord, not that only half of the people will enter the kingdom of heaven.
Oops, what I meant to say was that Jesus sums it up in Matthew 25:13. The point of the parable is to teach Christians to always be ready for the return of the Lord, not to tell us which percentage of people will make it into the kingdom. If we read the parable and it interpret it according to Ralph’s hermeneutic we had all better become virgins, go out and buy oil lamps and make sure they are filled at all times because only virgins with lamps full of oil are known by Jesus and enter His Kingdom.
Janet, I agree with you. There are fakers in every walk of life. The parable of the wheat and the tares tells us that there are fakers in the Christian church, too. But I have experience working with Mormon fakers, and the difference is that Mormons love to flaunt their Mormonism, yet at the same time living in the world grinds down their testimony and reveals that they are in need of true salvation. For instance, there are the Mormons that make a big show out of not drinking coffee, using tobacco or having a drink with the guys after work, but they are involved in the hateful speech, adulterous banter, cursing, passing around pornography on their cell phones, etc. These are guys who wear their garments, proudly claim the LDS title, and talk amongst each other about bishop so and so, who goes to what ward, and their “callings”. On the other hand, people at work know that I am a Christian, but I don’t shove it in their faces and tell them that they shouldn’t get drunk, pass around pornography, or blaspheme, unless someone asks me why I don’t participate in those activities. I live my faith. I’m becoming more comfortable living apart from the world as every year passes, and people notice it. I’ve become the “religious guy” and have even had many assume I was Mormon before I corrected them. The Mormons I have worked with for years are on the downhill slide becoming more like the world as every year passes. The environment I work in grinds Mormons down to a nub and shatters the perfect snow-globe world they lived in before getting involved in law enforcement. They are like the seeds that fell on rocky ground and soil with weeds in Matthew 13:20-22. Knowing LDS theology I know that these men are not worthy to be among the supposed LDS saints when they go to church on Sunday, and they certainly are not temple worthy. They have been involved in continuous sinful behavior for years and must lie to the authorities when interviewed for their temple recommends.
Janet,
I am the one who said faking is lying and therefore is a sin. I do believe to fake to a religious group that ‘I really believe as you do’ and then FUNDAMENTALLY reject what that religious body teaches is lying to them.
If I went to a synagogue and went through the motions of converting to gain the trust and love of some close friends, while all the time really believing they had it all wrong and I actually believed that Mohammad was a true prophet and the Koran a holy inspired book, I would be lying to them. That would be FUNDAMENTALLY not believing what I claim to be believing.
You are correct, we all fake some things. Many rise to the level of a lie and thus a sin. We all sin everyday in many if not most things we say and do. We do something for selfish motives while helping someone else (so that we can advance up in their opinion – it’s about ME). We fake and lie to someone that we like something so that they will like us (it’s about ME). Rather than confronting someone about a problem, we just let it slide – no skin off my back (I don’t want to feel uncomfortable – it’s about ME).
We are all sinners in need of a Savior – lying is a sin. Thanks be to God for His mercy and saving Grace through the Cross of Christ. My sins are forgiven and covered by His blood.
My point in noticing the effect the world has on Mormons is not to condemn them for their hypocrisy, because even I am a hypocrite at times. We all are. The point is to illustrate that religion and will have no power to save anyone. Being a member of the LDS church cannot save you. Renewing your commitments to God and the gospel principles and taking the sacraments on Sunday has no power to wash away your sins and make you worthy, because as soon as you walk out the door you are going to immediately be confronted with a situation that will again make you unworthy. Guilt-based works-righteousness programs do nothing but cause grief and anguish, because inside anyone who is trying to become perfect by their own willpower will fail. I experience grief and anguish at times for my shortcomings, but it is not because I know I won’t make it to God’s Kingdom if I continue to behave that way. My grief and anguish come from conviction by the Holy Spirit that it is that kind of behavior that made it necessary for Jesus to suffer the wrath of God on my behalf. It is precisely because I cannot be perfect that Jesus needed to be perfect for me, and it is because Jesus was perfect for me and paid the infinite penalty that I could not pay that I know my salvation is assured. God accepted His payment-in-full on my behalf. There is nothing left to owe. I now rest from my works because Christ did the work for me. Hebrews 4 explains this, and anyone who is seeking rest from their works will find them in the true gospel and in the True Lord Jesus Christ.
Why will you not believe God Himself? Because the man Joseph Smith told you that it wasn’t true? Can God lie? No, but man can, does, and continues to lie through the LDS church. Rest from work is available in Christ.
You do a great disservice to the LDS, when you seem to assume that many if not most of us seems to spout our Religion and loudly proclaim such and such. I don’t know what area of the world you live in, but as I have traveled here and there I don’t exactly see what you’re stating as being common. I have many Christian friends and most seem to be very conservative in nature and not at all offensive in proclaiming how righteous or correct they are. But I do occasionally run across bad examples of Evangelicalism. Praise the Lord comes to mind, and seems to be a very vocal exclamation of their faith and desire for all to know, then it’s on to the Rapture, and Grace of God all spouted in such rapid fire, its hard to get a word in to try and communicate an idea. I guess it all perception, but my Mormon friend don’t seem to be the typical Mormon you betray above.
Janet.
Janet, obviously my opinion will be based upon my experience as will your experience with Christians. My opinion is also tainted from speaking with the Mormons I work with who know less about the origens of their religion than I do. Like I stated earlier, most Mormons I know must be comforting themselves with the belief that they will at least achieve the Terrestrial Kingdom as long as they stay faithful to the church, even if they don’t stay faithful to all of the rules. Without that teaching I believe many of them would be more diligent, but when you and everyone you know will be there, why not? Do you believe you’ll ever perform well enough to achieve the CK?
To be fair, I know a few bumper sticker Christians who loudly proclaim their faith, but live like the world. I think they’re more damaging to Christianity than faker Mormons are to Mormonism.
There are different levels of acceptability in any Religion, by that I mean we reach different levels of knowledge, activity, and testimonies.
Just because I experienced my first revelation at the age of 12 did not in any way help me achieve the level of knowledge I have achieved some 50 years later. There are some who reached the level I’m presently at; a lot sooner. You mention comforting, Isn’t the Gospel of Christ as taught in the Scriptures more comforting then a single degree of glory or heaven as you might see it. Let me explain, comfort is hard to describe, peace would be more fitting since comfort comes from how we feel, see, and experience blessing here on this earth as we keep God’s commandments, the second most important being love thy neighbor. We receive comfort from our faith, and doing charity, or showing forth the love of Christ which is in a pure sense, love and charity. Peace comes from the knowledge of Salvation, which is not fully understood until we actually experience it fully. Do I know or believe I can perform well enough, the answer is yes, do I know or believe that I will perform well enough, no.
Now in answer to your last paragraph, I have done damage to my faith, I have fallen, I have been a poor example, yet I still proclaim loudly at least in thought and deed my love for the restored Gospel of Christ. Does that make me a poor TBM, or does it actually acknowledge my humanity and weaknesses. I find that when I fell, there were others that reached down to pull me up, true Christians with out judging me or my weaknesses. Have I lived in the world, you bet, do I wish that I could relive some of it, you bet, do I resent my life, not at all. The Gospel has shown me that I’m like everyone else to a certain degree, and that my own merits are not enough, and that without Christ I can not satisfy Justice, but I can accept the gift of Salvation through repentance which purifies me in Christ.
Janet
Janet, you’ve been very open.
I just would like you to remember that it is your religion that teaches that what you are is not good enough.
It’s not Christianity that teaches that.
Pure, Jesus-Christianity is Grace. It’s that Christian gospel that you’re hoping in. It’s not Mormonism. Mormonism at it’s core is only a bunch of commandments and laws and covenants that will KEEP YOU OUT OF HEAVEN
Jesus, on the other hand, ALL BY HIMSELF, will get you in.
The trick is to put all of your eggs in one basket.
You want free forgiveness and saving Grace? Then you must decide to drop your thinking that you are earning anything from Him by what you think are “good” works. You must decide that it’s HIS RIGHTEOUSNESS, and NOT YOURS, that is the winning ticket.
And you must RECEIVE His Righteousness, His forgiveness and His Salvation. It is a GIFT.
But… of course you can’t receive any of that unless you know that Jesus is part God, and there is no other God. Anywhere. Period. You will not become like Him. You get to be with Him. Period.
If you don’t believe that… then you believe in the wrong Jesus.
Mobaby,
“It is good not to smoke as smoking is bad for your health.”
While that may be true, I am not totally convinced that is the LDS reason why tobacco products are prohibited. The reason is simply that they are unpleasant, and ‘unholy’ in the LDS mind set. It give the LDS people some issue to have judgment against ‘gentiles’.
The LDS faith can partake of a number of substances which are known to be unhealthy. Some make an effort to avoid those also, but those certain items will not keep you out of the LDS temple. For example, processed sugar, white flour, trans fats, certain food dyes, artificial sweetners.
Janet, you made conflicting statements. On the one hand you say that you do not know if you did well enough until you get there, but you believe that you are. Believe me, you’re not, which is exactly the point of the beatitudes and Matthew 5-7. Your works are not good enough as even your thoughts condemn you by making you a law breaker. That is God’s standard, and the LDS standard is even harder than that. The LDS church is the modern Pharisees, and look how Jesus treated them. They both add rules and traditions that are nowhere in scripture. Do you think that Jesus is going to look the other way for all of your sins because you behaved like an LDS infomercial at some points in your life? I have too and it profits me nothing.
On the other hand you say that you’re trusting in the gift that was given when Jesus satisfied justice. No you’re not. You’re trusting in your ability to do some of the work while Jesus will make up the rest if you didn’t quite make it. How much is enough? How much excess debt will Jesus cover? You don’t know so you have no assurance of salvation. That’s not good news. That’s the same system every other religion lives under! That’s the foolish hope of all mankind! Think about it. True Christianity is different. It is good news! Jesus is presented as a perfect savior for all of those who place every trust in Him, not a crutch for those who can’t quite make it on their own. Where in the bible does it ever present Jesus as a savior that can’t actually save anyone without their permission or help?