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Should a Christian date a Mormon?
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28 Responses to Should a Christian date a Mormon?
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Should non-Mormon Christians date Mormons?
I find that people marry someone they dated. If you are unwilling to accept that Mormons are Christian because of your narrow, bigoted, self-important definition of Christianity, I would say you should not date a Mormon.
If you are bent on following the teachings of religious leaders who believe they are the
only true christians today because of God supposedly restoring that truth to them thru
a modern day prophet, then you probably should’nt date anyone who disagrees with
that ” narrow bigoted self important definition of Christianity ” . Just a thought .
Parkman, I find it really interesting that you claim to be a Christian, You claim LDS are Christin, yet LDS admit they teach a different gospel. Also I find it interesting, some of the lds leaders of old have claimed, we do not believe the same Jesus, and your leaders and some LDS claim, RLDS and FLDS and many other BoM, JS prophet believing LDS are not viewed as being LDS. so it seems to me your phrase of, your narrow, bigoted, self-important definition of mormonism would tell me, you have no clue.
What is interesting is when people do marry they form certain guidelines for raising their kids. They support their kids when they get older and are able to make their own decisions. I could just imagine if the book of Ruth took place at our time. With some religious group she would probably starve but that is just my speculation.
Great video series Eric – simple, clear, and to the point.
Did you really get stuck on “their not Christian” in the first video and get nothing else for the rest of the series? Do you really disagree with the answer to the topic “Should a Christian date a Mormon?” They answered it both ways – for the Christian and for the Mormon. There were no points made that could not be made for the Mormon just as well as the traditional Christian.
As for your comment, I’m pretty sure you don’t believe traditional Christians are Mormons. So Mike R. was right to switch your statement on you. But lets consider your apparent perspective. Maybe you believe that Mormons are Christians and that traditional Christians are Christians too. Maybe you believe that Mormons just have more truth than Christians. But, again, does that make any difference for the answer about whether the two should date? Lets look at it without labels and just content and see how much of a good idea it is for two people to tempt themselves into marriage by dating despite the facts that:
1-One believes in One True God = One Ultimate Being, the other believes in more – One True God = three beings united in purpose
2-One believes that Jesus was the One True God and came to save us by His Work, the other believes in more – Jesus was one of the three that make up the Godhead and came to save us by His Work unto immortality and, along with our works, unto the Celestial Kingdom, maybe.
3-One believes that Jesus was conceived by the Power of the One True God by the overshadowing of the Holy Spirit, the other believes in more – that the Holy Spirit overshadowed Mary and Heavenly Father was involved “directly”
4-One believes that by the merit and continual cleansing of the sacrificed blood of Jesus that we are the Temple of the Lord indwelt by the Holy Spirit, the other believes in more – that Temples are built according to population and distance and need for the meritorious works required in addition to the sacrificed blood of Jesus for Celestial entrance.
5-One believes that tithing was part of the Law which was meant to school us to the realization that we could not meet God’s Holiness and Righteousness and that giving with joy is what we are to do today (maybe that 10% is a basic number but knows that the Holy Spirit will move to give more at times if not always), the other believes in more – that tithing is part of the laws and commandments of God and so must be done in order to be found worthy, worthy of the Temple, worthy of the Temple blessings, worthy of the upper levels of Heaven.
But for one more, I’ll stop for brevity’s sake.
6-One believes that the One True God is the Ultimate of all that exists or ever could, he or she worships The Ultimate, the other believes more – that the One True God (for us on Earth) is made of three gods, one of which has his own father god or, at least, was once a man like us and by obedience to Eternal Laws that are above him and originate outside of him he became a god and eventually God of this Earth.
I appreciate it if you stuck with me this long. Now, what do you think two such people should do? Should they date, knowing that it might lead to strong feelings and the temptation to marry? If marriage becomes a desire should they just try to “work it out”? How do you work out just those 6 points?
When their child asks them “What’s the biggest thing?” Are they going to give two answers, one from each – “God” and “God is the biggest thing with which we have to do”/”The Principles of Universe and Intelligence and (maybe) Matter”.
When their child feels guilty for their sins and asks if they’ll go to heaven? One says “If you ask for forgiveness and trust Jesus with your whole self and life, He will bring you home.” The other says, “If you repent and get baptized into the One True Church and try to do everything else it tells you to do, then… probably.”?
How do they explain Christmas to their child? Or how God became a man to their teenager? One says “By the power of God” the other “By the power of one of Heavenly Father’s god-children – the Holy Ghost – and the glorious natural but perfected process of procreation by Heavenly Father”?
What does one do while the other speaks of the Temple of the Lord? One hears his/her child learn to externalize what is a beautiful gift of God back into an edifice. The other hears her/his child learn to devalue the LDS Temples?
What does one do while the child is brought into Tithing Settlement meeting? What does the other do while their spouse shows the child to give without having any of it recorded?
One last thing parkman,
None of the above has to do with the two people’s own relationship. Spouses have physical intimacy, emotional intimacy, and spiritual intimacy. Each is augmented by the latter. There is no way an informed Mormon or an informed Christian can delude themselves into attaining spiritual intimacy with a spouse of the other beliefs. Even if they could…
Okay one more thing here, cause its important. Even if they could delude themselves they could never fully involve God. God is Perfect. God is Love. The love between man and wife can only get so far without God’s power and influence, not just over a lifetime, but in the actual moment of loving. If God is not in it, then it cannot truly flourish. Either on their own end because one of them isn’t addressing themselves to the Actual One True God and thus can’t receive what God might otherwise be willing to give. Or God may not be willing to give his Holy Spirit to the love between two people, one who believes in Him as He has shown Himself to Be, the other who refuses.
But, parkman, you get stuck on the “their not Christian” statement. Luckily, you can post more than once. (as I have proven here ;), hey, everybody! May God bless all of you with what you and yours most need, with the least collateral damage.)
It’s not all that important but I really liked the music.
I was having a discussion with my mid-twenties daughter about dating last night and she said that the two major areas of concern within a relationship should be political and religious affiliation. That seems kind of funny when what really attracts people to each other is some sort of chemistry. People like the emotional and physical buzz and are in a fog bank typically; at least at first.
One of the biggest mistakes someone can make is the “I can change that!” manner of thinking. It’s not going to happen. As long as I’m on a roll here, I’ll give my other principles for a successful marriage.
1. If something is really bothering you, keep your mouth shut!
Now that is as long as the thing bothering you isn’t adultery, abuse, or some sort of chemical dependency.
2. This goes along with number one. Figure out ahead of time what you can tolerate in the person and then never bring it up. Leave it alone.
3. If you have to work that hard at a relationship, is it really worth it?
4. I’m working on this one. I don’t have it totally thought out. Here it is: Never share your feelings.
This is kind of a tough one and that’s why I’m still polishing it. Believe it or not there are people, both men and women, who aren’t comfortable with and really don’t want to share their feelings. Some how we’ve gotten into this mind-set that we have to be emoting and talking about it all of the time. I would suggest that if an emoter marries a non-emoter, there’s trouble ahead.
I’ll continue to work on #4. There’s a nugget of truth in there someplace.
I married a Mormon.. and by the grace of God and her strength she was able to leave it completely despite her whole family being LDS (immediate and extended). We have been attending a Christian church for a good 4 years now..
I will tell you, it was tough deciding how to raise our children when she was LDS. I basically said I’m fine with them going to the ward but when they become old enough to understand that there are different religions, that I would explain that to them and that they need to make their own decision.. I will tell you what though, if that time ever came I think it would cause a lot of consternation.. I’m trying to think what a child would think of when they know their mom and dad don’t believe in the same things – that would be hard.. I fear they wouldn’t choose either and would lose their desire to connect with their Creator.
Thank God that didn’t happen though.
Given the list of people you and your “true teachers” say are not Christians, your notion is held in low respect. It is no wonder that you have a demanding uphill battle to teach those who do not already agree with you.
Given the list of people that Mormon leaders say are not true christians their notion is held to
be misguided. It is no wonder that they have a demanding uphill battle to persuade members
to continue to submit to their alleged authority . Many LDS are finding that there is a complete
and wonderful relationship Jesus once they dismiss their apostles and the unhealthy allegiance
they render to them .
(New Testament | Matthew 11:28–30)
28 ¶ Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
As any old time farmer who used real horsepower to do the work around the farm, when you put two horses in a double yoke they better be able to pull together in the same direction, at the same pace or you will never get the work done.
Religion is only one of the many activities that a married couple needs to be able to work together as a team to do the job well.
This has been taught by the Church since before I became a member; it is as true today as then, maybe even a bit more important.
again, all you do is give nonsense ramblings, You did not answer any questions and gave no evidence to support your view. And speaking of being held in low respect, Your held in low respect since you just babble and just accuse with out any evidence what so ever.
I don’t know if it would really make much difference if a Christian married a Mormon. Fifty percent of all marriages end in divorce anyway. Half of temple marriages end in divorce so they’re no better than the general population.
But a Mormon and a Christian won’t get married. I’m talking about “committed” Christians and Mormons. You might get a “Christian” who got baptized as a baby who really doesn’t attend church but self-identifies as a Christian marrying a Mormon. That’s because there’s no real commitment to Jesus; just a cultural identification. A son of a friend of mine married a “Mormon” girl in the Lutheran church. It seems to have worked out fine but I really wouldn’t call the woman a “Mormon”. She wasn’t into Mormonism.
If I were currently unmarried would I date a Mormon woman? No! What would be the point? But I’m an old guy. Young guys, I don’t know. A couple decades ago my wife and I were on a college campus in Utah. One day there were a bunch of high school kids from the LDS church at some conference, on the campus. My wife and I both agreed that it looked like a convention of Barbie Dolls. Sharp looking young gals, dressed great, perfect hair, perfect make-up and a perpetual smile. That’s pretty good bait in the dating game.
So I could see where this might be a real pull for some young guy.
I dated a girl in high school. But she was a Jehovah Witness. It went absolutely no where. It was obvious from the start that it was a real no go. But we had this mutual attraction. But even at an early high school age I understood that religion was a deal breaker.
I’d say, don’t date a Mormon!
Hey guys! It’s been a while. I still read all of the time. I’m just naturally quiet. haha.
However, I thought I’d speak up in this one, since I’m obviously in the minority. I was/am a born-again Christian who dated an active, Temple-worthy Mormon. Like falcon said, the choice to date someone is rarely based on the other person meeting a list of qualifications, but rather on chemistry. My husband and I met as kids, before I even knew what a Mormon was. Over the years, we couldn’t stay away from each other. Much to the disappointment of our concerned parents, we fell in love. All I can say is that God has had a hand in our relationship ever since we met. Looking back, I can see how He was moving, even when we were “unequally yoked” and ignored his counsel in the Bible. Praise the Lord for His grace.
It’s been a very long journey. Very long.
MaM, I remember you . You’re are a blessing , good to hear from you again .
Dating someone, while both being sold out to different faiths, is incredibly hard. Throw in the immaturity young people have, and you get a lot of strife. We didn’t fight often about religion, but when we did… yikes. Lots of drama. We both tried hard to change the other. He would throw temple marriage at me, threatening to break up with me. I would tell him how legalistic and wrong his religion was. Neither of us approached this in a positive way. Finally, I realized I had to step back. Stop trying to play God. If my husband’s heart was going to change, it would have to be the Holy Spirit’s doing. Not mine.
Over the years, God has worked in both our hearts. I’m not perfect, but I have so much more patience, understanding, and wisdom. I know when it’s time to speak and time to let him be. Every time we discuss the LDS religion, he brings it up… usually in a holy-cow-was-I-blinded way.
When we go to church (a Christian one, not LDS… he hasn’t been to their church in 5+ years), he soaks it all in. He no longer believes in the majority of LDS teachings, based on his own observations. In fact, I’m not sure where he stands on everything LDS, because I don’t push the issue. I’m waiting for the Lord to get him to the point where he’s ready to talk about it. He’s growing. We both are. It’s been so incredible, and I’m so so thankful for the Lord’s grace and faithfulness.
Happily ever afters are possible, but not guaranteed. We were willing to take the chance. But to those wanting to date active Mormons (and even semi-active, it’s very ingrained), I suggest to tread lightly. Be prepared to argue and debate a lot. Pick and choose your battles. It’s not an easy road to travel. If you’re stubborn like me, wait for those “divine moments” to talk about things. Not when there’s a lot of tension. Tension when talking to MMs or random people is one thing. When it’s with someone you love? It sucks.
Jeff that’s awesome!! God is good. 🙂
Great to have you speak-up. You add a lot to the conversation. Some very valuable first hand experience. It would be interesting to hear how your husband became disaffected from Mormonism. It sounds like it was gradual but he must have had some break-through moments. I don’t know if you are the exception that proves the rule, but none-the-less something is going on that is counter-intuitive to what one would think. I’m guessing you wouldn’t recommend this path as a general rule since a temple Mormon and a born again Christian are about as far apart as it gets in a religious sense.
Yup, it’s chemistry. Makes you feel good and miserable at the same time. It reminds me of one of my favorite scenes from the movie “Pride and Prejudice”. It’s at the end and the two main characters have gone through this tremendous tumult and angst and neither of them can sleep because they are so flippin miserable. Of course in true Hollywood fashion they cross the moor at dawn with the fog coming up from the ground; walking towards each other totally exhausted and emotionally drained. They go to her father and the guy asks for her hand in marriage and when the dad talks to his daughter, the father is completely confused because he thought they hated one another.
Like I said, it’s tough to over-come chemistry.
Thanks MaM. I did my fair share of research on Mormonisms current belief system and also what was taught in their History. I even attended the Mormon Ward (multiple) in the initial 5 years we were married so I got to see what the lay person believed and knew.
No matter how much arguing or history of the LDS church I brought up to my wife, she just shut me out completely or got very angry that I was challenging her beliefs she’s had since she was little. She knew I visiting mrm.org a lot and one day decided to check it out for herself. She became very disturbed once she actually verified the sources referenced on the site. She didn’t even know that Joseph Smith practiced plural marriage.
One day in the car, she just spoke up and said “I don’t think I want to be LDS anymore..” I was shocked ot be honest, and then very excited for what that meant for our family. After that, it helped that my brother was Mormon and left the church after doing some discovery himself. He helped her through a lot of the emotions that are caused by it.
Jeff B, thanks for sharing about your marriage. You and MaM just helped someone
reading your stories that there is hope for their marriages too .
It’s really disturbing that many Mormons don’t know the history of the sect. It’s further disturbing that there are those that know the history and dismiss it out of hand. It indicates that they have no real appreciation of what the information means. What it means is that Mormonism is led by false prophets who preach a false gospel that has doomed the Mormon people.
All of the rationalizing by hardcore Mormons can’t change the facts or what they mean.
Indeed it is.. My wife tried to show Joseph Smith’s family tree on familysearch.org (LDS sponsored website) to her TBM sister to show her the polygamy and her sister said, and I quote “I’d rather be blissfully ignorant.”
Jaw. Dropped. Seriously?! How could anyone with any self-respect say that. Sorry, didn’t mean to hijack this thread with family stories..
Mike R, there is hope. Just like the family member you have been trying to get to church for years finally going after a decade, so there is the hope that exists for Mormon spouses. HE chooses the time and method. Just be a shining example.
falcon, Thanks! The key to getting him disaffected was getting him away from his Mormon family and friends, especially his dad. This sounds terrible, but his eyes weren’t able to be open to facts and healthy discussion until he was out from under the heavy influence. His dad is a wonderful person but very my-way-or-the-highway. Although we still hang out with these people every so often, it was really him getting out from under his parents’ influence that did it, I think. When we were dating, I would present info (like on here) to him, and he would refuse to look at it, getting very angry that I’d be willing to listen to strangers’ opinions over him. It was ridiculous, and I’m so glad we’re way passed that. At this point, I’m honestly not sure where he truly stands in his feelings about the Church. He knows about polygamy and admits that he thinks JS and BY were just being perverted rather than carrying out a command from God. He thinks much of the religion is “creepy” and “weird”. Words that he NEVER would’ve dared associate with the Mormon church just a few years ago.
The change was very gradual, with lots of little break-through moments. He wasn’t able to fully contrast the Bible with what he grew up being taught until he stepped away from the Church. I’ve learned so much about letting go and being patient. That God’s timing is perfect, and the Holy Spirit does a much better job than I do. 🙂
And although I wouldn’t change my decision, I certainly wouldn’t recommend this path for everyone, considering that we’re most likely an exception to the rule.
I did the same thing. I remember sitting in an investigators’ class and listening to them say that the false prophet warnings were about Christian pastors. And that a woman’s ability to have lots of babies was equivalent to holding the priesthood (came from a Sister Missionary). That was my jaw dropping moment. MRM has been a huge help for me. I was able to have a discussion with MMs, using much of what was found here. They didn’t like what I had to say, but they also couldn’t refute any of it. And ironically, after they left, my husband said watching me take them on was really attractive. LOL.
I’m still waiting for my come-to-Jesus talk with him about where he stands. It’s so close, I can taste it. Which means I have to be all the more patient and understanding, waiting for the Holy Spirit to touch his heart and to give him the courage not to care what his family and friends will think.
I totally agree with what you told Mike. God chooses the timing and method. We just have to be the shining example. I may have to write that down! God has been able to accomplish so much more in my husband’s heart once I finally sat down and shut up. lol. All he wanted me to do was live for Him and be an example to my husband of what true grace looks like.